Daniel 4

Tonight, was my Biblestudy, for the series on Daniel by Beth Moore. I am really enjoying this study. Tonight's session and this week's homework is on chapter 4. This chapter is about King Nebuchadnezzar's second dream, and basically it is written in first person by King Nebuchadnezzar. He looses his kingdom for some years, until he recognizes who God is, and that he is the ruler of the world. But what is so good, is what Beth Moore shares about this chapter, it speaks to me.

The following are my notes that I wrote in the margarins of the two pages covering the video teaching session. Some are things Beth Moore says, and others are questions or comments I write about myself.

Nebuchadnezzar stopped ruling Babylon, he allowed Babylon to rule him. I have asked myself before, what part of Babylon do I allow to rule me? You are probably asking, what do you mean what part of Babylon is ruling you? Today's Babylon is basically the trappings of the world. How beauty and self-image is important. Body size. How much money am I making? Things like that. How self-absorbed am I? I can get self-absorbed. We all can at times. Am I content with what I have, or do I need more to be happy? How often do I show mercy to the poor? Here is the Babylon mentality" "I am, and there is none besides me." That is found in Isaiah 47.

To help us change this thinking, we are chastised by God. Discipline by God. We are pruned by God. We will suffer, go through trials to learn a lesson, for God to be glorified. Here are some things I wrote about this. My areas of chatisement will only go so far, because God cares. That is why he prunes me. The idea of cutting back, is so that Iwill grow back and produce fruit. God allows satan to sift us, because we need something, in our life, to be sifted. This sifting brings us back to God. I am not better than anybody I have taught or worked with. Is there anything in my life that God needs to work on in my life? The following quote is from Charles Swindoll from a book he wrote about Daniel: "God's patience is geared toward our repentance."

Both of God's patience and discipline sets limits. I am so thankful to what God has been doing in my heart this year, and for the things he is showing me about him. More reasons for me to praise and glorify God.

God Answers Prayers

No job, yet! The title might make one think I have a job, but sorry, no. We all have things we have been praying about to God. We can get any of the three answers he gives, "Yes", "No", or "Wait". Some answers come immediately as a "Yes" or "No". Otherwise, they are all "Wait", or acutally it seems like he isn't answering at all. Like, God is having me to wait for the job that I need.

I have requests that I have been praying about off and on for years, and I mean years. Just in the past week, I received an answer of "Yes" and "Wait". My cousin is open and willing to have the Lord work in her heart, and she has started attending church again. Those are both yes. The wait, is that God is still working in her heart on other issues. I am very happy to get this news. This is something I have been praying about off and on for over twenty years.

The Lord has been working in my heart this past year. I know, because I have become more open to certain things, and willing to look at things in a different way. That is an aswer to some people's prayers.

We are told to pray, which builds our faith and trust in God. but waiting for his answers can be very hart, but so is being opened to the answer that is not what we are expecting to receive. I was not expecting to still be not be working come the end of September. I was expecting to be teaching somewhere in the DFW area, but I am not. It has been hard to accept the Lord's plan and answer to my request. Truthfully, I do not miss all of the aspect of teaching as I thought I would. I do not miss the bad behavior, but I do miss the ineraction with my students, the actual teaching part, and seeing the growth in my students' lives.

Father,
I thank you and praise you for what you are doing in my life and in the lives of all of my family and friends. You are awesome! You know so much better than we do. We do not know as much as we think we do. In your time, I know you will reveal the plans for my life and for the lives of all I know, plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to glorify you. Thank you for walking beside me during this rough time in my life. Thank you for the people who are praying for me. Please bless them in what they are doing for you. I love you father.
AMEN

Firey Furnance

My Wednesday night Biblestudy is the Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel. Last night's session and this week's homework is on the third chapter. Beth Moore states three scenarios for when we go through our own firey furnance. Choice A: God delivers us from it. Our faith is built, because we pray and ask people to pray with us, and God answers yes. Choice B: God delievers us through it. We walks along side of us. We pray and God basically answers wait. Our faith is refined. We pray and pray, and it is hard to understand why we are going through this. At the end there is a miracle, and when we look back, we see small miracles that happened along the way. Choice C: We can be delivered by the fire straight into his arms. Our faith is perfected. (Dying and going up to Heaven).

We will never escape trials entirely. We will always be given some type of trail at different times during our life. The question is, what is our heart attitude and where is our faith being placed. God's plans are not to harm us, but the exact opposite of that. God allows us to go through the firey furnance, os that our bonds will be burned off/away, to be freed from that bondage of sin. What is it that God is working on in my heart? I do not know. All I do know is that through this firey furnance I am walking through, He will be glorified!

How is my faith in all of this? I know God has a job out there for me. In his time, he will reveal it to me, and open that door. I do hope it is here in Dallas, TX. I have asked him to work on my heart attitude to be accepting of his answer when he gives it to me. Is there something I need to learn from this whole experience? I do not know. I do not know why God is allowing me to endure months without a job. It is fustrating at times, and discouraging at times. I just need to keep my eyes on him, the perfecter and author of my faith. (Hebrews 12:1-2) According to Hebrews 11:1, faith is the substance of things not seen. I have faith in the Lord, that he will lead me to the new job that is right for me. One where I will be the salt and light for him in the workplace. Until it happens, I just need to wait upon him, and have faith, that what he is doing is for my own good. God will answer my prayer in his time, not in my time, but in his time. Praise God for that!

A Deadline has been set

Monday, was my first meeting with my campaign manager at Chandler Hill Partners. I have another one Thursday afternoon. I do know we are going to work on interviewing skills, since I have a phone interview next with Clark County School District, one of the largest school districts in the country. This interview is to see if I make it into the selection process, for further interviews for possible jobs. The homework I have to do for CHP is easy and doesn't take me long to do. Plus I do it on the hard copy I have been given, before I do it online.

A deadline has been set. If I have not found something to support me, either an actual job, or a part time job, by the end of October, my dad will come down to move me back home to OH. Moving back home is not what I want to do. I love home, and look forward to my visit, I just do not want to live there. I want to be living in Dallas, TX. Maybe, the Lord wants me back home. I have no idea why the Lord is allowing me to go through this. Am I supposed to be learning a lesson, is it for his glory, is it for a consequence, what is God's will for me in this. I have lots and lots of people praying for me. God's will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. I mean that.

I am hurting inside, and cried a lot last night. I do not have a thankful heart for this. I told God that. Someday, I will have a thankful heart for what I am going through, right now, I do not. The Lord has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. I wish I knew what his plans were. Someday, I will look back and see his hand in all of this, and say how stupid I could be during this whole period.

Job hunting help

I have been looking for a job for six months, and unemployed for a little over 3 months. I've been doing some thinking, over the past ten years of different times looking for a job, I've had a hard time doing so. I'm finally going to get some help! I've become a client of Chandler Hill Partners. Check out their website at www.chandlerhill.com.

They will be working with me on my interviewing skills, helping me to market myself better, showing me areas that I should think about applying to, etc. Plus, they have contacts that I do not have. I will be given homework assignments that I will have to do. The more I put into it, the more I will get from this. I need help, plus I am not afraid to work. I am so ready to go back to work! I have been bored!!!!!!!!!

The best thing, is that after I get hired, they will still stay in touch, and help me to maybe get a raise come review time, see what I can do for getting a promotion, etc. Plus, it gives them another contact. If I hear of openings, I could let them know, and they can always send people my way to that company.

My first homework assignment is finished. I have my first meeting with my campaign manager Monday afternoon. I hope there is only a couple of more months being unemployed.

If I do not teach again for awhile, I am okay about that. I love teaching! I want to be able to use my teaching skills somehow.

I have a phone interview with Clark County School District on the 22nd. That interview will determine if I get put into the selection process for a job. By the way, Clark County is the county of the residence of Las Vegas. One of the top five school districts in the U.S.

The World Trade Center

Five years from next Monday, September 11, is the five year anniversary of what happened that day in NYC, PA, and D.C. The United States was attacked, and we went to war. There are a lot of people out there who do not agree with President Bush, but he is the President that our good Lord has given to run our country.
Sometime last month, a new movie premiered that is directed by Oliver Stone and stars Nicholas Cage. The movie is titled The World Trade Center. The movie is about what happened that day, but mostly about two NYC Port Authority Police Officers who got trapped in the rubble of the towers after they collapsed. Only 20 people were pulled out alive from the rubble. These two police officers were numbers 18 and 19. Seeing the line of world's finest lined up, passing the baskets of each of these two officers was unblievable and moving.
I saw the movie this afternoon. It does bring tears to your eyes. Whenever you see it, make sure you have kleenex to wipe away the tears.
I believe our country is ready for this movie. I hope a huge number of people go see it and remember why we went to war. Especially those who are against President Bush. They need a reminder as to why we are at war. Go see this movie, and remember why we are fighting over there in the Middle East. We are fighting for Freedom!!!!!!!!!!!

Spiritual Gifts

Been talking about spiritual gifts and love languages since the spring. I do not know what my love language is, but will learn what it is in the next couple of months. Sunday school class, both girls and guys are doing The Five Love Languages for Singles, by Gary Smally. I even recieved that book for my birthday. I asked my best friend for the Five Love Languages book, and she gave me one.
I always said my spiritual gift is Encouragement. (From doing the Song of Solomon study in the spring, was told you need to know your spiritual gift and your love language, besides also your boyfriend/future mate's as well. Will help you in communicating and with your relationship.
Rob wasn't sure what his was. He found a test on Saturday, took it and emailed me the link. His spiritual gift is Service. I took the test Monday evening. The results said, my spiritual gift is Intercession. That was very interesting. Encouragement was tied for third with a few others. I have been working on praying for other people all summer, not just at devotions, but also when they come to mind during the day. Here is the link to that spiritual gifts test: http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/

Fianlly a pic of me

I tried to up load a pic of me way back in June, and it wouldn't work. Thought I would try it. It worked.

New direction in my life

I have been debating or not to write this post. Basically, I started to write about my job search and my feelings about it. Then I wrote about grandpa dying and doing home to OH for three weeks.
I have been looking and not trying to look at the same time. Praying for the Lord's will. Going back and forth about wether or not looking for a boyfriend/future mate is a sin or not a sin. I have been looking online (I have had no luck from meeting people from other ways). Last year, I went back to www.eharmony.com for a second time. I did have one date with one guy, nothing happened from that. October 2005, I was matched with a guy, and we started emailing each other on eharmony. January of this year, we exchanged personal email addresses. March, we started talking on the phone. In April and May, there were nights, I was up till midnight or 1 am talking on the phone. Phone conversations could last 2-3 hours easy. Before you know, an hour as passed, and still can today.
Last weekend, we met for the first time, and it was a great weekend. I liked him before we met, still do, and have been missing him all week. I have been praying about this a lot. I want the Lord's will in this. All of this is in my diary,pages and pages of my thoughts, things we have talked about, etc. I am glad we have taken our time to get to know one another, we are friends. I just haven't been sure if I wanted to write about this here in my blog or not.
Father your will be done here on earth, as it is in heaven.

Next step

After I got back from OH, I uploaded my resume with Monster.com. I have also signed up with teachers-teachers.com. No bites from there. I check out the want ads in Sunday and Wednedsay's papers. I have sent out a few faxes, and have applied to about 3 jobs from there. I will find out tomorrow, if I have made it to the next step of interviews.
Last week, I started talking with somebody from Chandler Hill Partners. They are a company (a service) that costs money to become a client, who will work with you to find a job. I need help! They coach you, open your eyes to new ideas on where to look, how to market yourself, negotitate the right salary, etc. I am impress, and a decision will be made within the next few days if I am going to sign up with them. I have had problems over the last 11 years in looking for a jobs. I am doing something wrong, but not sure what I am doing wrong.
I have been praying, and know that God is in control. I have told the Lord, I am getting fustrated and discouraged about finding a job. I thought I would have one by now. The Lord knows what is best for me. As of now, I am looking outside of teaching. Someday I plan on going back to teaching, Lord willing, and if it is part of his plan for my life.

Still no job!

I started looking for a job five months ago, way back in March! I never thought or expected to still be without one five months later. School started last week for most school districts here in the Dallas area. Wierd not being there. My friends tell me how things are going. I listen and help in anyway I can, wishing I was teaching.
I have been looking for jobs outside of the teaching profession. I skills for other jobs, just not the experience that they are looking for. If they are willing to train, and can over look the area of experience for the specific position they are hirig for, they could probably find exactly who they need.
I am looking online, and in the want ads in the newspaper. I applied in person, online, and faxed my resume to people last week.
Can't understand why I do not have a job, or what I have been doing wrong all of this time. The Lord has something, I believe it. I am starting to get a little impatient, anxious, and worried. It is like when are you going to answer me in this painful are of my life. I want to keep Christ in charge of my life.

How I see myself

I am a child of the King. But, that is not what this post is about. Ever since I was a little girl, I said I wanted to a teacher, later for awhile, I said Iwanted to become the first woman President of the United States. My dream came true in 1998, when I moved to TX. For the past 5 1/2 years I taught in Dallas. I love teaching. I call myself a teacher. That is how I see myself, as a teacher. I can't imagine doing anything else. My dad always told I have a college degree, then I would turn around and say, but I am a teacher. I have been looking for a job since March, and have not found one. I have been without a job since the end of May. I am looking for other types of jobs besides teaching. It is a slow process, to see myself as anything other than a teacher, but I am doing it. Sometimes I think, what can I do, but teach. I do have clerical skills, I know there are other skills, but what are they. What can I do. I want to enjoy what I do, grow as a person, learn new skills, advance in the skills I do have. The Lord knows what I will be doing. He knows what I can do. I wish he would show me what it is He has for me. I am basically desparate, I need a job! I need one now, like last week. I am looking. I know I do not to do retail or inventory. Other than that, I have no idea. I am willing to learn, if they are willing to train me. Please Lord, bring a job my way very, very, very soon.

My time in OH

The earlier posts from this month, was about Grandpa Morton, and the only interview I had for this month
I saw my brother a few times. He gives outt the best hugs! I spent a weekend with my sister. We went to Geagua Lake and got soaked because of the rain. The temps were cooler in OH than in TX, but at times not much cooler. Everytime it rained, I asked the Lord to send the rain down to TX.
My 35th birthday was the 25th. We did a bit of shopping that day. My birthday always falls during the week of VBS at my parent's church. On my birthday, an army helicopter landed at the church. I took a bunch of pictures. My sister took a pic of my standing by the helicopter. We got ice cream after VBS for my birthday. My sis and I got the same thing, twist dipped cone. Mine was messy!!!!!!! I had ice cream dripping onto the wood, and my niece said it looked like bird poop. I just cracked up laughing. It was so funny!
My parent's best friends, also had a death in their family, 8 days after Grandpa died. So two weekends in a row, had funerals.
Grandma and I played rummikub two different nights. First time without Grandpa. She has had more crying moments than I have had. Everybody grieves in their own way. I am going to do two dedication layouts in my scrapbook next month-Grandpa and Aunt Nancy.
The day after my b-day, we had lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse. I like having lunch with my sister at least once during the summer. Mom, Dad, Jo, Grandma, and myself. Took pics afterwards for the scrapbook.
Mom kept finding old pics, and I made two trips to Walmart to make reprints of them for the scrapbook.
I refuse to say too much about the Indians, other than the idiots enjoy loosing, and have made some surprising trades in the past week.

Headstones

Yesterday, Grandpa was buried. The funeral was Saturday, but it was $200 cheaper to open the grave during the week, than on the weekend. We went out to the cemetry today. Grandpa's grave is just a big pile of dirt heaped ontop of his casket, with flowers lying on top. Next to him are two of his kids, and next to them are is in-laws. Behind and to the right a bit are his parents, and his two baby brothers. My grandparents bought their plots back in 1948 for $40 a piece. They haven't even thought about headstones yet. My other grandfather, who died in 1993, still doesn't have a headstone. He is buried somewhere else.
I took pictures of the headstones that are in the family, and will put them into my scrapbook. We did take some of the flowers that were there and brought them home to put into vases. There are about 4 different bouquets at the house. We even got one from my sunday school class. Sympathy cards have been coming in the mail for grandma and for my parents.
Grandma has moved into my parents house. In the next few weeks, they will start cleaning out my grandparent's house to get it ready to sell. That is going to be hard for them to do. I will miss him for the rest of my life.

Funerals

Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living. It helps them to celebrate the life of who passed away. I think it is also a way of saying goodbye, having closure. Last night was the calling hours for my grandfather. Today was his funeral. I was able to see all of my first cousins, except for one, and almost all of my second cousins. This is the second one in about 2 1/2 months for my family.
The funeral was very nice. Two ministers officated the funeral. Both family friends, who have known my grandparents for over 30, almost 40 years. Heard a few stories about how he used to be a pranskter, a joke he played on friends, while in Israel. His favorite joke he like to tell, how he graduated 8th in his class. There were only 8 in his class, when he graduated from high school. A few people stood up to share things about Grandpa.
I will miss grandpa. No more, will grandma say that, "We are praying for you." It will only be, "I am praying for you." Grandma is my only surviving grandparent. Both of my grandpas are up in Heaven.
Funerals are hard, but a necessity in life. I am very thankful for the people who came to the calling hours and/or to the funeral to pay their respects. Some came because of my mom or because of my dad. Some came because they knew grandma and grandpa.
Everybody grieves in their own way. Lord, I ask you to be with my family as they are grieving for grandpa. Please let us all feel your arms of comfort and support during this hard time of our lives. AMEN.

Interview #10

The Lord is good! I had my home line forwarded to my cellphone, because of coming home to OH for a family crisis. I had a prinicpal called me yesterday, and she was willing to interview me over the phone. That is why, I said, "God is good!".
This was interview number 10. The interview was scheduled for 11 am EST. The principal called me around 11:20 am, and the interview lasted for 20 minutes. This was the second interview for Mesquite ISD. I interviewed for a sixth grade English position. The teacher would teach writing and grammar. That would be a challange and a good growing experience for me. This teacher would have to work closely with teammates, to incorporate the other subject areas into writing. In my opinion, that would be fun and interesting. They could have a report for another teacher and work on it in their English class.
I thought it went okay. The principal had other interviews still to have. She hopes to make her decision by the end of the month, and will get back in touch with me either way, with a yes or a no.

My Grandfather

Last Thursday, I recieved a call from my sister that my grandfather was taken to the hospital. Turns out my 87 year grandfather had a stroke. He had major bleeding on the brain. He was put on a ventilater on Friday, thinking the extra oxygen would help his brain. A second cat scan on his brain was done on Saturday, and saw that the bleeding was worse. The doctor talked about taking the breathing tube out on Saturday, but wasn't sure if he would last the night, and with me making the drive up from TX to OH, they kept it in. I got home to my parents, Sunday afternoon. We went to the hospital for visiting hours, About six pm that evening, the breathing tube was taken out. We stayed longer, talking and visiting, til about 7:30 pm.
Sunday night, he was moved to another room. Yesterday afternoon, he was moved to a hospice. The hospice wasn't far from my parent's house. His breathing was shallow, and making noise while breathing. The hospice was a very nice place. We were there this afternoon.
My mom and I went back after supper. My mom felt this feeling to go back to the hospice. I talked through my family scrapbook to grandpa. We were watching tv, and talking. I kept looking over at Grandpa. I noticed that he got quiet, and told mom. She went out to get the nurses. One nurse listened to his breathing, and twice said, there is still a slight pulse. I think about five minutes after noticing that he got quiet, he had his final breath here on this Earth, and went home to be with his Lord.
I am so thankful, mom and I were there when he took his final breath, and that he wasn't alone. It is hard. He just didn't look like my grandpa. He took his final breath about 7:30 pm tonight, July 11.
The calling hours are this Friday evening, his 88th birthday. The funeral will be on Saturday. I alreay know that I will do a layout of dedication in my scrapbook about Grandpa. I am so glad that I was able to make it home for my grandfather's last days here on this Earth.

stories about grandpa

I had to make an emergency trip to OH. I made good time. Really only one construction area that caused problems. It is a two day drive for me, 21 hours, 1,150 miles. Went to the hospital for the evening visiting hours to see my grandfather. Was very weird to see my grandfather in a coma and connected to a ventilater. I've heard stories of what happened the two other times he was in the hospital. Very soon, I will only have my grandma left. The stroke he had caused major bleeding on his brain. The bleeding has gotten worse since he arrived at the hospital. My grandmother's sister, my great-aunt, also had a stroke on Thursday. My great-aunt, doesn't know that her brother-in-law had a stroke.
Grandpa planted a garden this spring, basically first good one in five years. The previous ones were much smaller and not very good. This year, he went with a neighbor. The neighbor told us this evening, that he had to do the planting just the way my grandpa told me too. We laughed about that. Both Grandpa Morton and my late Grandpa Sanyo, were into growing things and having gardens.
Grandpa Morton would give the whole plan of salvation when he would pray. He wants his funeral to include the message of salvation, for any nonchristians who might show up. We have already started planning his funeral. Grandpa's 88th birthday is this Friday.
My next post I will talk about more about Grandpa and his funeral. As of this writing, he is still alive.

Family

This is hard for me to write about. My aunt died of cancer at the end of April, just a couple of weeks after turning 60. Both my grandfather and a great-aunt had a stroke yesterday. My grandfather will be 88 years old on the 14th of this month. My great-aunt is just a year or two past 80. I do not know how my great-aunt is doing. But my grandfather, is on death's door. I am going home to be with my family, and it will take me two days to drive. I am praying that I will be able to tell hime goodbye. I even told my mom, that I will go see my brother to tell him about Grandpa. My grandfather is on a breathing tube and a feeding tube.
I asked God this morning, if my other grandfather could be there to welcome this grandpa to Heaven when God takes him home. My other grandfather died 13 1/2 years ago. I have fond memories of my grandparents. When it comes time to scrapbook the last pictures of grandpa later this summer, it will be hard for me to do.
No matter how old you are, and how old your family members are, it is always rought to loose them. God knows what he is doing, but it is hard to see his goodness in what is going on in your life and theirs during the rough times.

Fourth of July

The Fourth of July is an important holiday for the United States of America. I wonder how many people really know why this day is important to us? I wonder how many people really know what were the events that led up to this special day in our history? The sad thing is, people in other countries know our history better than Americans know our history.
The second permament colony founded, Plymouth, was started for religious freedom. The Thirteen Orginial Colonies, all in their constitutions, (back in the 1600-1700's) said that colony either had regilous freedom, or you had worship a certain way. There were other freedoms stated, that they did not have over in Europe, not at that time. All the people who argue and fight over the Constitution today, in my opinion, need to go back and actually study our history, nad if they did, then they would stop these ridiculous lawsuits, saying, "blah, blah, blah" was unconstitutinal.
July 4, is the day we celebrate, The Declaration of Indpendence was signed in Philadelphi, PA in 1776. We spend time with our families, enjoy watching really cool fireworks at night.
I thank all of the soldiers out there who are fighting for freedom over in the Middle East, "A Great Big Giant Thank You" for putting your life on the line, so we can continue to celebrate our freedom, and the right to forget about our history.