Old Ways

There is only one person who knows how to hit my buttons with ease. The littlest thing that this person says, and I will get mad and loose it. There is no reason for me to get that upset. This person is my father. Suprise, suprise... it is not my mom, but my dad. I have spent most of the day mad at myself for this. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to move back home to OH.

I have said for the last few years, that there is like a pink elephant in my dad and mine's relationship. There are problems. I pray about it, and about my attitude. I have talked to my mom about it. I have tried talking to my dad about it. All he says is that there is nothing wrong. There is, how come nobody can see it? How come, I can see a problem and he can not?

I thought I had gotten better, but no, first thing this morning, I lost it for no good reason.

I came to another realization today, my self-esteem has dropped, and it is due to not being able to find a job. Dallas is way bigger that Akron, so how come I couldn't find a job in Dallas?

I read the ads, and I see needs a degree in this area (which I don't have), must have knowledge with different software that I have never heard of, and must have so many years of experience of which I don't have. That knocks me out of the running for any of those openings. I am not afraid to learn new things, if they are willing to train me. I am so tired of this. When will things turn around?