A Daunting Task

I spent a lot of time on the computer yesterday. I was looking at the following website: www.clinicaltrials.gov. I was looking at different trials. This is a daunting task I have before me, searching for the treatment that is right for me. I called and left messages for somebody at Cleveland Clinic, University Hosptials, Ohio State University Medical Center, and University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Somebody from OSU called me back. He sent me an email of four different trials. There is one trial going on at OSU that is also at Akron General Medical Center. General is close to me. One requirement for that trial is to have a lymph node disection.

I don't understand everything I read. I don't understand everything I read on the MPIP website I look at everyday. How do I know if a trial is good for me or not? The majority of them are for people with mestatic melanoma. That I don't have. There are 225 clinical trials listed on the above website. Jsut thinking about this, is making me down this afternoon. I did print up some yesterday, but I just don't know. I would rather stay here, but I am willing to travel up to 3 hours away at the most. If I do travel, I would probably have to stay there for awhile. Is that a good thing?

Lord, which treatment do you want to do? Who do I talk to, to help me? I am basically on my own in this search. I do know, that once I have a few options, then I want to go and talk to my oncologist about them. Do I choose one with the possibility of taking many different kinds of drugs? What about the vaccine trial. Could I find one, where they pay for the drugs? Lord, where am I going to find the money to pay for this? What about the side effects? Complications? There are so many questions to ask. I know there are questions, that I haven't even thought of. Lord, please provide me with some help. I don't want to become too overwhelm. I know I need to make a decision soon. The sooner I start the treatment the better. I need some help, Lord. Thank you for listening Lord.