I Think the Door is Closing

I'm not sure, but I think God is closing the door to NC. I'd thought he opened it back in the spring. But with the frustrating problems/phone calls I have had this summer, and no job, looks like God is closing the door. I can't completely tell. I still get phone calls, and think there is a slim chance of moving. My mom doesn't want me to go, and I understand her reasoning. There is also the money issue in moving down there. Where is the money going to come from in renting an apartment, getting situated in both the apartment and in a new school? If this is God's will, then he will provide the money. Plus, there is the issue of my treatment, two months left. Having a hard time in accepting all of this.

Charlotte called yesterday to see if I was still interested. I called back and left a message. This lady called me back this morning, and we talked about what I am interested in teaching. There are still a few openings left down there. Later this afternoon, I received another phone call from a principal. I now have a phone interview this coming Monday morning at 10 am. She wanted to do it at 8:30 am, and I won't be home at that time.

New teacher orientation started yesterday. Teachers go back to work on Monday. There is staff development and time to work in your room next week. They like to ask me how soon can I get down there and if I'm relocating to the Charlotte area. I am only moving if I have a job. I said that I need a couple of days, once I was offered a job. I have to pack, and then I could leave the next day. They are cutting it close.

The new dilemma is knowing if I should accept the job or not if I am offered one. I just don't know now. In making sure I am ready by the 25th, not missing too many injections, and finding an apartment is a lot to think about and do. Lord, what is your will? Is this what you want? Is this from you? Am I just supposed to sub again this school year? I'm having a hard time accepting it and being thankful for all of this school stuff.

If I dont' make sense, it is because I'm having a hard time putting into words what I am thinking and feeling. I am confused.