For over 10 years, I have been going back and forth with God about looking or not looking for a guy. God knows the desires of my heart. Sometimes I think it is a sin to look and other times I don't. I give it up to God and wait, and then after sometime, I take it back. I get tired of waiting. I will be 39 next month, and I am still single. I think why I struggle with it is where I look...
For about a week, I was getting on this one certain online dating website. I got on Sunday afternoon, and started talking to this guy online then moved to the phone after my parents left for church. I met him that night. He lives about 30 minutes south of me. We saw Shrek, close to where I live. Spent Monday afternoon/evening together. Then he came to church last night to meet my sis/niece and friends. We have been talking and texting each other since Sunday. I like him and enjoy spending time with him. Going out with him tonight and tomorrow night. He is a Christian, that is number one for me.
I have been praying to God about this, since Sunday. I have been asking for his will. I have given it up to him. I have had this one fear for a number of years, is that I would settle and not wait for God's best, because I want to become a wife and a mother. God's timing is not my timing. I do like this guy and enjoy spending time with him, and look forward to seeing him again.
Even though I have been single for so long, I haven't felt God wanting me to stay single and never marry. That could be because of my heart's desire, and it is still strong and not letting up. God knows, I just have to trust him. That is so hard at times.
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