Communication

Relationships and communication are both two way streets. Each person has to work at it. In the past, I got tired of doing all of the work with certain friendships and have dropped them, quit trying to get in touch with them. Guess what? It didn't seem to phase them, because they sure haven't tried to get in touch with me. That does hurt. Why does it hurt? My love language is Words of Affirmation. I need to hear or read positive words about me. My second main love language is time, spending time with me is important to me, in knowing that I am important to that person.

I have a small number of very close friends. We all get busy with our lives. Most of them have kids, married or not, they are busy. Case in point, I would love to see my brother more than I do, but I am busy and I have to plan my visits with him. These friends, we might go a bit of time without talking and when we do, we pick right up where we left off. We might not see each other very often. (One lives in MI, and other two live in TX. One lives locally, and we still are lucky to see each other a couple of times a year.) But here is the thing, we both work at the friendship.

In all types of relationships, one person can not just do all of the work. It is then one sided, and hurt feelings will happen. Each person has to put effort forward if you want the friendship/relationship to last.