Blood Work

I had a good weekend, with very little side effects. Stomach did bother me, nurse today, told me to go ahead and take an anti-nauseous medicine, that way it can work, before I let it go too far and I do get sick to my stomach.

Got my blood work back and there is only two things they really look at, when deciding the amount of interferon I can receive. That is my white blood count, which is at 1.9. Back in July it was at 6.1. It is low. They also look at my Seg Neutrophil. It is at 22, and back in July it was 20.5. I guess that one is also low, but I am still receiving 49 million units of Interferon everyday this week.

Mom has to buy a thermometer tomorrow, because she has to take my temperature 2-3 times a day. If my temp hits 100.5 or greater, then we have to call the doctor.

I have had a headache today, but not bad as last week. I still took a pain pill this afternoon. I got an hour nap this afternoon. Last night, I had lights out before 11 pm, and didn't' want to get up when my alarm went off at 7 am.

God allowed me to see two people I haven't seen in years this week. Yesterday, at church, I was able to see a childhood friend. Last time we saw each other was 7 years ago. It was really nice to see him again. Today, I saw somebody from high school, who I recognized, but couldn't remember his name. He remembered my name. In an email to a friend, I said, I wonder who else God will allow me to see this week, I haven't seen in a long time.

End of Week 1

One week down of high dose and three weeks to go. Thank you Father, for letting yesterday be and easy day for me. I was cold all afternoon, and I did have a headache. I did take a pain pill in the afternoon. Last night went to my niece's open house at her school. I saw my best friend and her family. I took pics of my niece's work that was being shown. Who else did I see? The p.e. teacher, music teacher, and sixth grade teacher. Why do I mention them? Because I had them when I was a student at that school back in the early 80's.

Last night, my high school and played my mom's high school. We went to arch rival high schools. They play for bragging rights and a bell. We drove past the game on the way home, my team was winning at the time, but alas, my team couldn't keep the lead.

I slept in my bed last night, first time in a month. I can't sleep on my right side, but can on my left side and most of the night on my back. During the week, I will sleep in the recliner, because of the needle connected to the port.

I drove today, and went to Wal-mart and the grocery store. I took my time. Tomorrow, I am going to church in the morning, and will probably go to my parent's church for the evening service. I had a small headache this morning. I haven't been cold, no shakes. I have felt great today. My stomach has bothered me a bit today. Father, thank you for allowing me to have a great weekend, and not feeling any of the side effects.

In the past week, the colors have really been changing. I was driving up the driveway this afternoon, and the tree behind the house, just looked gorgeous. This is what I have missed the whole time I lived in TX. Fall is my favorite season.

I had sent out a mass email before coming to my blog asking people to pray, because I found a hard area in my upper thigh going towards the groin. I felt in the same area on my left thigh, nothing is hard, just soft. This could be nothing, but I am going to ask the nurse at the hospital Monday morning, when I go in for my treatment. If the nurse thinks I should get it checked out, I will see if I can get in to see my surgeon Wednesday morning. I don't have to see him until November 14. I do see my onc this next Thursday morning. I do not want any new problems. Lord, I give this to you, and please help me not to worry about it.

God's Autumn Palate

We got home around noon today. I had my camera in the car, so I walked up the driveway, so I could take more pictures of the trees. They have changed more since Saturday. These are all from my parents yeard.

Receiving my Treatment

The top pic was taken on Monday, the rest were taken today. *Note*: My mom took most of the pictures. There is a couple of pics showing the bag of Interferon. That bag is holding 49 million units. My mom thought I was weird in wanting to have these pictures taken.

Week 1: Day 3

Today is day 3 of the high dose. I woke up with a headache, basically had one all day, still do. I get Tylenol before the treatment starts to help my temperature not go up. Today I started at 97.7 and went up to 98.7. The Tylenol I took this afternoon hasn't helped my headache, it is finally not has bad has it was earlier this afternoon.

I couldn't take a nap this afternoon, because of the headache and I was cold and shaking. I talked to God about it, and tried to sing mentally, but that didn't help either. God answered my prayer, by not stopping them both when I wanted them to stop. Hot water in the shower does help the headache for the time you are in it. At one point, I was covered up with three blankets this afternoon.

Going to talk to the nurse if there is something stronger I can take for the headache, tomorrow. She will call over to the onc to ask him. I have been warm off and on again since supper time.

We are now leaving a blanket in the car, for when I need it. I am tired right now.

HD: Day 1 & 2

This week is the first week of the high dose. I have had two treatments so far. I am getting 49 million units of Interferon. First a needle was inserted into my port yesterday morning, and it will stay in till Friday morning. I am supposed to keep that area dry when I bathe, but the saran wrap and tape doesn't want to stay very well.

I am given fluids (saline) to flush my port, then the Interferon takes 30 minutes to run through the IV. Then I am given a shot of saline and a shot of hepron (for anticlotting).

Before the Interferon was done yesterday, I felt tired, but after I got home, I couldn't really sleep, though I did try. I get the shakes, I don't always feel cold, but I shake like crazy, with teeth chattering. I finally stopped last night after supper, when I covered up with a heavier blanket. I also have had a headache. I take Tyneol, but the headache is still there. It does become a dull ache, but it is still there.

Today, I didn't get tired, but I did take a short nap this afternoon. I have had a headache and my lower back has hurt. I was shaking with teeth chattering this morning, before I even left the hospital. I came home, and covered up with two blankets. The shaking stopped, and started up a tiny bit before I fell asleep this afternoon. I spent a good part of the day in my dad's recliner today, covered up with two blankets, the viberator and heat on. That has helped my back.

I am going to Biblestudy tonight, will have a blanket with him, to wrap up with. I will get more side effects as time goes along. I will have these side effects for the next year. Please keep me in your prayers about the side effects.

Colors of Autumn

As you have been able to see, different trees showing how their leaves have changed colors. Many trees' leaves are still green. We haven't had a frost yet, has been warm. This is usually a very beautiful time of the year. My friends down in TX, this is the one season, you basically don't get, and the one I had missed the most, the 8 1/2 years I lived in TX. Enjoy the awesome creation of God.

Less Pain, More Swelling

I was called this morning, but turned it down, didn't like the assignment. Was called again later, this time around 6:30 am. This job was for elementary art, at one school. Better than yesterday, which was two different schools. Mom said last night that she would drive me today. I got mom up after 7 am, so we could leave by 7:30 am. I had five classes of art, plus 15 minutes of recess duty. I did a lot of sitting, but also some walking around.

Mom picked me close to 3 pm, and we went to the pharmacy I got my stockings from, because the doctor wants me to start wearing it, and it doesn't fit. We can only return one, the one not opened. My leg was measured, and given a different one to put on, and it didn't fit. I had to make an appointment for next week to be measured for a stocking to be special ordered-made to fit my leg. We looked at my leg to measure it and to try the stocking, and saw how swollen my foot, ankle, and lower leg was. I have done more the past 3 days than I did the past 3 weeks. After we came home, mom wrapped my lower leg, ankle, and foot with the two ace bandages we have. I sat in mom's recliner,except for supper and now sitting here at the computer.

Earlier today, mom and dad moved one of the old recliners out of the living room upstairs to my bedroom. I will be sleeping upstairs again, but I am not going to use my bed just yet.

Less pain today. Still hurts though. I take it easy sitting down and standing up.

I worked today

I haven't worked in little more than 3 weeks. I haven't driven since I worked, both were the day before my LND. I got called this morning to do middle school music and called a bit later to do fifth grade in the afternoon. Middle school music was only for the am. I do not do middle school, but this music teacher also does elementary music. The special teachers for Akron schools, travel between at least two different schools.

I have a hard time getting the name of the teacher correct from the system. I drove to the middle school, and said the name, they said no, maybe I should've been at a different school. I go there, and they said no, so I got in my car, and called the first school I went to and found out, I had the wrong name and this teacher put in the wrong school into the system. Thankfully, this teacher had first period free. It was seventh grade music-three classes. I had 20 minutes to get to the second school and eat lunch in the car. I finished my lunch in the classroom. I did fifth grade reading in the afternoon.

Driving hurt my leg, and so did walking. If I get called for tomorrow, then mom will drive me. I want to go to church on Sunday. My leg did swell some, especially in the thigh. I sat most of the day.

After tomorrow, I will work again until after Thanksgiving, after I have started the low dose.

They are out!

The drain tubes came out this morning. I didn't think they would, but they did. The seepage had tremoudously decreased in the past week. I think that was the deciding factor with the resident for them to come out. I took a pain pill first, and waited about 15 minutes to let it start to take effect first. A different doctor took out the one of the left first, didn't hurt, but it sure did squirt out fluid, more than he was expecting. The one on the right (the one that hurts) hurt a lot! It didn't seem to want to come out at first. I really felt that one! It is good to have them out. It still hurts a bit to walk, and still fights a bit tight, but that will now start to go away.

The resident wants me to wear the stocking now. She said to put the ointment and a gauze pad over the blisters before putting on the stocking. The stocking doesn't fit. Mom and I have to take it back over where we got it from on Friday, so I can be resized/meaasured again for it.

I start my treatment on Monday. The high dose for interferon. I will write more about that next week.

Indians won again last night, 7-3. They have now won 3 games in a row. If they win tomorrow night, then they will go to the World Series and play the Colorado Rockies. I hope they will win. I do hope C.C. is on his game tomorrow night.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning, I have an appointment to see Dr. Lewis and his resident. My mom thinks the drains are coming out tomorrow, but I don't think they will. I think they will stay in for another week. I am still draining more than 30cc for them both per day. I read on the MPIP board that the longer they are in, least likely they one will get lymphodema. I do hope that is true. I did have swelling in my foot right after the surgery, and I have some in my right thigh due to having surgery. I do hope Dr. Lewis is not has busy as he was last week. Because I am planning on going upstairs afterwards, to Dr. Patel's office. I need to let him know if the drain is still in or has come out. I also have to pick up my anti-nausous medicine (samples). I am going to ask both doctors to write me a note saying that it is okay to sit down periodically when I sub for medical reasons. I want to sub, but if I do sit down, and administrators come in to check on me, or to observe, thy might not like it seeing me sitting down.

I have now walked down to the mailbox and back twice, yesterday and today. Wore me out a bit. I sit in the recliner as much as possible, but do walk around the house.

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LAST NIGHT

Last night was game 3 in the ALCS. Indians won 4-2. Boston was shut out until the 7th inning, when Jake Westbrook gave up a 2 run home run. He was pulled from the game after that. Jake was on his game last night. Lewis pitched a 1/3 of an inning, then Bentacourt pitched the 8th, and Browoski pitched a 1-2-3 9th inning. Kenny Lofton hit his first home run in about 3 months in the 2nd to get us on the board last night. Tonight is game 4. I do hope we can win it tonight and again Thursday. The Rockies are going to the World Series.

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LEAVES

I was walking down the driveway this afternoon, and there was this one pretty tree. The leaves on this tree are changing to a pretty red. Some leaves were half red and half green. There are trees that have leaves on the ground. There is still a lot of green. The trees that have started changing, are mostly changing at the top and working its way down. Spring came late to NE Ohio this year. We haven't even had our first frost yet. Are we going to wait until Thanksgiving, like TX does to have its first frost?

What a game!

The last two nights, the Indians played in Boston. C.C. was not in top form Friday night, and they lost 10-3. Last night, it was Carmon vs. Schilling. Both of them were pulled during the 5th inning. It was a see-saw of a game. Each team hit 2 home runs. Carmona came out in the 5th, let a guy get on base, was pulled. Perez came out, and got 1 out and gave up 2 HR back to back, then he was pulled. Lewis came out and ended the inning. I am not sure who pitched the 6th and 7th innings or even part of the 8th. Bennetacourt came out during the 8th and pitched the 9th inning. By this time the score was tied 6-6.

Third out of the top of the 9th, I fell asleep and woke up at the top of the 11th. I heard that Mastney pitched the 10th, and was 1, 2, 3 up and 1, 2, 3 down. Casey Blake started the 11th and got the first out. We got 7 runs and one out. Three of those runs came by Guiterrez 3 run HR. We batted around. Casey Blake was the 10th batter and got the third out. Casey got both the first and third outs of the 11th inning.

Browoski pitched in the bottom of the 11th. He did allow a couple of guys get on base, but gave up no runs. Boston ended the game by making a double play. Final score 13-6. The series is now tied at 1-1.

Because the Indians won last night, they will definitely play 3 games at home. They will be played Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday night. If Boston wins at least one of the those three games, we will head back to Boston. I hope we win all three games at home. If we do, then we will go to the World Series. It has been 10 years since we were in the World Series. I want to play the Rockies in the World Series.

Drain Tubes

I had a doctors appointment this morning. My appointment was for 10:45 am. They were running behind. I wasn't called back until a little after twelve. I saw the resident. She stripped the tubes. She said the tubes need to stay in for at least another week. We are ready for them to come out. I read on the MPIP board, that the longer they stay in, the less likely of getting lyphodema. The only swelling I have is in my thigh, and that is due to having surgery.

I am having seepage from the two drain sites. I have more seepage with the one on the left, and that is the one that doesn't hurt. The one on the right, have less seepage and that one hurts, stings, bothers me. I do feel a tightness in my leg.

My mom wants me sleeping upstairs. I tell, I am not ready to try to sleep in my bed. Going up a step bothers me. She talked to dad about taking one of the recliners upstairs to my room, so that I can sleep in the recliner. They would love for me to be working. I would too, but I'm not going to with drain tubes coming out of me.

Dr. Lewis said to keep my leg elevated, which I do. I am supposed to become more active, but when I do, there is more seepage. Mom had to do a load of laundary on Monday, because of the seepage.

Lord, thank you that I do not have much swelling. Please let me not have a problem with swelling later on in my life. You have a plan for all of this. I still do not see how having cancer is part of your plan for my life.

Interesting Tidbits

The following I got from reading the Bible, from doing a Beth Moore Bible study, and from Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible.

1. In I Samuel, David was hiding in a cave from Saul. It says that Saul went into the cave to relieve himself. Do you know what that means? It means, Saul went to the bathroom.

2. In the book of Acts, Paul got a haircut.

3. Peter denied Jesus 3 times. John 21:15-17, Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he loved him, and told him 3 times to feed his sheep. Acts 10 (?) Peter is praying, and around noon, he saw a vision, a sheet was brought down from heaven full of animals and 3 times, Peter was told to get up and kill to eat.

4. Hagar was the first single Mother. Hagar's son, Ishmael, was the first name of a baby given by God.

5. God spoke directly to Hagar, then later again as an angel of the Lord.

6. God spoke to Hagar and Rebekah about their pregnancies.

7. Isaac was the only patriarch who was monogamous.

I recommend all of you to read the following three books by Liz Curtis Higgs: Bad Girls of the Bible, Really Bad Girls of the Bible, Slightly Bad Girls of the Bible. The last one I am currently reading, and it is a brand new book.

Boston Here We Come!

There are a lot of happy and a lot of unhappy people. If you are an Indian fan you are in the happy group, an Enemy fan, in the unhappy group. Some people wanted Wedge to have C.C. pitch on a three days rest. Wedge stuck to his plan, Paul Byrd pitched last night, Kelly was the catcher, making Victor the first baseman. That meant Garko had the night off.

For the fifth time this season, Grady Seizemore started off the game with a home run. The Enemy used their game one pitcher, who was removed in the 2nd inning, Mussina came in relief. He stymied our guys for a few innings, but we came around. We scored 6 runs. Paul only gave up 1 run in the first 5 innings. In the sixth, he gave up a home run, and that was the time for him to go. Perez came in for the third time, but sad to say, he also gave up a hit and a run. That made the score 6-3. Perez pitched 2 innings. The other Rafael pitched in the 8, one, two, three up, and one, two , three down. Our closer came in the 9th, gave up a home run, but still saved the game. The Indians won!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were jumping on top of each other! They were excited about winning the game!

Friday, starts the American League Conference Series in Boston. The Indians need to win at least one game in Boston. If they can, then they will play all three games in Cleveland next week. The first two games will be in Boston-Friday and Saturday. Monday of next week, we will be back in Cleveland.

In the NLCS, are Diamondbacks and the Rockies. This is the first time since 1995, that the Rockies will be in the playoffs.

Regis Philbin says that winter started last night, because his team lost and are no longer in the playoffs. He gave his prediction for the World Series: Colorado Rockies vs. Cleveland Indians. I go for that. Go! Tribe! Go!

Sarcoid and Indians

I called my onc this morning and left a message. A nurse called me back, later, to let me know that the blood test for sarcoid came back negative. That is good news. If they think they see it in the pathology report, and I test negative for it, what did they actually see? Some other tests on the blood hasn't come back yet. The next time I see him, he should have the lab reports with the answers that he wants.

I have had the drains in for almost two weeks now. I seem to be changing my shorts at least twice a day. Mom did laudary on Friday. Today is Monday, and we had to do a small load this morning. Where are the holes are in my thigh, where the drains come out, there is leakage there. Gauze pads protect the holes and the tubes. One stings and hurts a bit. One hurts more than the other one, when mom strips the tubes. I leak through the guaze pads onto my shorts like crazy.

The Indians lost last night. They still have the lead in the series, 2-1. Jake Westbrook didn't do his job last night. I hope Paul Bryd does a better job tonight. It was not all Jake's fault. The bats weren't completely awake. Nixon could've done better in right field. If we loose tonight, they come home and will play Wednesday night. They need to win. The winner plays Red Sox starting Thursday or Friday night. Go Tribe!

Go Tribe Go!

Wednesday the baseball playoffs started. The Cleveland Indians played Thursday and yesterday. The Indians have home-field advantage for the first round. They have to play The Enemy (NY Yankees). Two great games. Thursday night, C.C. Sabithia pitched. It wasn't his best outing, but he was in the lead come middle of the fifth, when he was done pitching. We scored five runs in the bottom of the fifth. We won that game with a score of 12-3. We hit four home runs, did really well with men in scoring position. We were hot!

Last night was a completely different game. It was kinda a pitcher's duel. We got men on base, we just couldn't bring them home. The pitchers were Petite and Carmona. Carmona made one mistake, and a home run was hit in the top of the third. The Enemy lead 1-0 until the 8th inning. All of a sudden these bugs, called midges come out of nowhere. (They are around in June til the beginning of July.) They were a problem for the other pitcher. A wild pitch, got Grady on base. Grady was able to move around the bases and was able to score and tie up the game. The bugs didn't seem to a problem for the Tribe just for The Enemy. Carmona was on the money! He pitched a three hit, one run game. He pitched 9 innings, and ended up with a no decision. Rafael Perez pitched two innings last night and got the win. Perez also pitched two innings Thursday night. The game was 11 innings long. We tried to win in the 10th, but couldn't do anything. The bottom of the 11th, we load the bases again, Hafner comes up to bat and hits the ball into the outfield and Lofton scores the winning run. We won 2-1.

The Enemy took all six regular season games this year. They were the only team to sweep us. We swept a lot of series this year. All of the announcers think The Enemy should just be handed win, like they have already won the World Series. They do not like Cleveland. We are up 2-0 games. We will play the next (two) game in NY. We just need one more win. It would be so sweet if we can sweep in three. Let's go Tribe!!!!!!!!!!

To Cut or Not To Cut That is the Question

I read the MPIP board numerous times while I am on the computer every day. I just recently found out about a side effect of Interferon from reading the posts. It is hair falling out-thinning. Becoming bald is a side effect. The thinning of the hair can vary in how bad it is from person to person. From the posts I have been reading, the thinning starts around month 3 of the treatment. I called to ask the nurse of onc about it.

I love having my long hair. I have had long hair for over 20 years. From kindergarten to fourth grade, my hair was short. When I was in the fourth grade, I started to letting it grown long. My hair goes to my mid back/bra strap area of my back. Last weekend, it was difficult to brush my hair. It took me awhile.

I will not know how the side effects will be for me until I start the treatments later this month. If I am feeling crappy for a long period of time, having short hair would be easier to take care of. I do not know what to do.

Lord, should I cut my hair? What is it you want me to do? Please give me wisdome in knowing what to do. Amen. If I do cut it, I want to cut enough to donate it to Locks of Love.

Pathology Report

I had two doctor appointments this morning, one at 9 am and the other at 9:45 am. I was late to the second one. Which is okay, since I have to wait longer in the waiting room to see the doctor. I saw the onc first. He shared some good news with us. He'd thought we had already heard the news. My lymph nodes came back clear! No cancer was found in them. The pathologist did see some bengin stuff looking like sarcoid. (The doctor I saw for second opinion back in August said I might have sarcoid.) The onc wanted blood drawn to be tested for sarcoid. I will find out in a couple of days if I have sarcoid. I am not completely sure what it is. Sarcoid can be found anywhere in the body. By doing immunotherapy, the sarcoid can become active, and that is something to watch for. One symptom of sarcoid is a nagging cough, which I have had since I was a kid. As of now, the high dose of the interferon (immunotherapy) is scheduleded to start Monday, October 22. Each treatment will last about 3 hours. I will go to the 7th floor of City Hospital to recieve my treatment. The nurse went over the side effects with us this morning. She is going to fax us the schedule for treatments and office visits tomorrow.

My second appointment was to see the surgeon and the resident. My incision is looking good. Both of my parents have seen it. It is normal to have redness arond the drain sites. I showed both the surgeon and the resident my blisters. Once I have healed from the blisters, I have to try the stocking again, and if it is still way too tight and causing problems, then I have to be remeasured for it. I saw some redness above my right heal this afternoon. So that means all of the ace bandages are off of my leg. My leg is supposed to be wrapped, but if I want the sores to heal, I can't have them wrapped.

The resident decided to leave the drains in for at least another week. She said I am still draining too much. For the drains to come out, I am to only drain 30cc (30mL) total for both drains per day. I drain between 60cc-100+cc per day.

Mom, Dad, and myself went out to lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse today. I called it a celebration lunch.

Holy Father, thank you for answering my prayer the way I wanted it answered. You know I didnt' want this surgery, but if I didnt' have it, I'd be wondering if any lymph nodes would be cancerous or not. Thank you for no more surgeries. Lord, if I do have sarcoid, please do not let it become an issue.

Playoff Season

The first round of the Playoffs start tomorrow. The Indians will be playing the dreaded Yankees, otherewise known as The Enemy. The Enemy swept us all six games this season. We need to win, if we are going to make it to the World Series. We have home field advantage this round. Sabithia pitches on Thursday, Carmona will pitch on Friday. Westbrook will pitch on Sunday. Byrd will pitch on Monday if needed. Then on the 10th, Sabithia will pitch again, if a game 5 is needed. The Indians start on Thursday. Every game of the first round will be on TBS. Go Tribe! Go Tribe! Go Tribe!

Tired

I am so tired today. I have theories, but not sure as to why I am so tired today. I was on the computer yesterday afternoon and evening. From 4-8pm, I was not in the recliner yesterday. I took my antibiotic around 10 pm last night. I took Bendryl around 11:30 pm, and went to sleep around 12:30 am. (I took the Bendryl, because the area where the port was placed, itches.) I woke up a couple of times in the night. I woke up around 7:30 this morning, so tired, that I went back to sleep until 9 am. I even tried taking a nap before lunch today. I feel tired.

Oh, What Fun We Had!

The fun started Tuesday morning. (If you haven't figured it out yet, I am being sarcastic.) I was taken back before 8 am. The nurse started pre-op vitals and stuff. She had to draw blood this time, and glory be! my veins co-operated and she got 3 vials of blood. I was praising God. Then she goes to start an IV in the back of my left hand. She got the needle in, but my vein decided to roll. She stopped right there and then. The nurse called down to the operating room to tell them they would have to start an IV. God chose to answer that prayer, but saying no, to my veins not co-operating.

I was taken down to the operating room a little before 9 am. I hugged my parents bye. In the operating room, I was given warm blankets and warm towels. These two nurses tried, right elbow, left hand, right hand, left foot. The anthesologist came in, he tried the right side of my neck. Before trying to start an IV, they would give me a shot of numbing medicine. He got an iv started on the left side of my neck. You never want an iv in your neck! It hurts! You can not hold up your head very well. Six days later, I am still sore.

I was taken to recovery around 1 pm. The surgeon took out the superfluous lymph nodes, just underneath the skin. I was given 2 drains. My mom has to dump the drain bulbs 3 times a day. They do not drain much.

Taken up to my hospital room around 8pm, little later. That bed was so uncomfortable! My back hurt! I couldn't move very well to get comfortable. I couldn't even move the bed up or down by the buttons until Thursday. I was admitted to the hospital, because the surgeon wanted to try to get my port placement moved up. I was originally scheduled for the port placement, October 3.

Had quite a few visitors on Wednesday. I kept asking the nurses Wednesday evening, for the Indians score, they didn't know. We didn't' pay to turn on the tv.

I got my port placed Thursday afternoon, the last one, by Special Procedures. The port is on my right side, in the upper chest area. That area is sore, do have a bit of pain there.

What else hurts? My neck is still sore. I have blisters just behind my right knee, due to the ace bandages wrapped too tightly around my knee. Thursday, my stocking was put on my leg, not completely or correctly, so that no pressure would be put onto my incision in the groin. The stocking caused blisters in two more areas. Those areas are a little below my two drains. It hurts to stand up, sit down. Sometimes it is uncomfortable in the recliner due to the blisters. By one of the drain areas, I feel a pulling sensation.

I see both of my doctors Wednesday morning. But it feels so good to be home! Thank you Lord, the surgery went well.

Prayer

This morning's sermon was from John 17. The setting was the Mount of Olives, before He was betrayed by Judas Iscariot. In between praying that God would take away the cup and praying that God's will be done, not his, Jesus prayed for his disciples (that were actually praying for him) and for his future disciples. That is actually a comfort, knowing that Jesus is praying for us.

I have people praying for me here in OH, in TX, FL, ID, WA, CA, MI, and a few other states that I do not know about. God has answered prayers, and there a few that he hasn't answered yet. God doesn't always answer our prayers. He doesn't always answer them according to the way we want them to be answered. What I can say, is that Jesus is walking beside me, during this whole thing. When we are in pain, it is hard to remember that Jesus had been in physical pain, when He was here on this Earth.

Someday, God will reveal to us, why He answered our prayers the way He did. I so do appreciate all the prayers that have been sent up to our Heavenly Father so far, and will continue to be sent up on my behalf. God is answering them in his way, and according to his glory. I have been praying that all of this can be used by God and that He will be glorified through all of this.

God is good, even though we do not see the goodness in the hardship. I do not see the goodness in having cancer. I do not see the goodness in not teaching full-time. I am anxious about Tuesday. I do not know what to expect. I keep thinking about the worse, and that is why I have not wanted this procedure. I pray that the side effects are very minimal.

Father, you are the healing Physician. I know you will heal me in your time, and according to your will. Your will be done here on Earth as it is in heaven. Right now, I can not thank you for allowing me to go through this, but someday in the future, I will be able to look back and see all the good that has come out of this and say Thank you. You are my God and I am your child. Please continue to hold me in your hands and to give me the strength that I need. I love you Father. Amen.

Playoffs Here We Come

The Cleveland Indians magic number before the start of today's game was 1. They had to play their final game of the year against Oakland Athletics. At the end of the game, Cleveland 6, Oakland 2; the Indians were Central Division Champs. The Indians were the first team to clinch and qualify for the playoffs this year. Today, was also, game 155. The last time the Indians, were the first team to clinch, was back in 1999, also on game 155. Their record is now 92-63.

They will find out later this week, who they will play in round 1 of the playoffs. They will play either The Angels, Red Sox, or The Enemy. They are still fighting with Angels and Red Sox for the best record in the American League and all of baseball. Before today's game, Angels and Indians were tied with the same record, while Red Sox had the same wins, but one more loss. The Enemy has the fourth best record.

My family wants to try and buy tickets for one playoff game. I want to go. We'll see how I am doing come that time. The worse part is, we have to buy tickets in advance. Come game time, I will be about 10 days out from my LND, with still having the drain in me. I have never been to a playoff game before.

LND/Port/Venting

My LND (lymph node disection) is next Tuesday, September 25 at 9am. I will not be having the port implanted that day. I will now be getting the port on Wednesday, October 3 in the morning. I have to have a blood test either on October 1 or 2. I had to end up going through my onc. to get my port.

I worked 4 days this week, with a total of 9 days for this two week pay period that ends today. I hope to work on Monday of next week. I will then go into the system to make myself unavailable for the rest of the week. Somehow, my mom has it stuck in her head, that I will be able to work the following week. I keep telling her that I won't be able to, as long as I have a drain in me. She will not listen. She thinks I will only have the drain for a week. I say I will have it for at least 2 weeks. I keep telling her, she is stuck at the house with me for two weeks, because I will need her help in the changing and cleaning of whatever needs to be done, because of the drain.

We'll see.

Its Starting...

I was driving this morning to school, and I saw a few trees with leaves starting to change colors. I am so excited! I haven't experienced a real fall in 10 years. I have been so looking forward to this. When the leaves are done changing, I will take pictures and post them here on the blog. My friends in TX, you will then see what you are missing come fall.

What time is it?

I found out this afternoon, that my surgery will take place at 9am on the 25th. I have to be there by 7 am, so that I can check in, register, etc. I was supposed to do that tomorrow morning, but it now as been changed.

I am now working the next two days.

Friends

This weekend, God revealed to me another reason why he brought me. I shared it with the ladies at the retreat. God brought me home, so that I could be around people, my age, who are in remission from cancer, and somebody who is battling cancer (but now in remission). He wanted to surround me with people who knew what I was going through and who understand. I thank the Lord for that.

Retreat

Friday, was my last day for my two week stint of teaching fourth grade. I left the school about 3:15 pm to head down to the cabin where the retreat was taking place. My directions I got on Google Maps, the directions were out of the way and I had to retrace my steps at the end. I was told to turn off of Rt 39, which I didn't completely realize I was on it, but only briefly. (This was only supposed to take me 90 minutes.) I stopped to eat at a Dairy Queen around 5 pm. I left again about 15 minutes later, about another 15 minutes later, I arrived at the intersection of rt 62 and rt 60. Now where do I go. I called, and found out I had to retrace my steps. I did, and showed up about 6 pm, almost 3 hours after I left school. (Took me 90 minutes to come home yesterday.)

The theme of the weekend was Encouragement. There is a book of the Bible that is mostly about encouragement-Hebrews. I didn't know that. There were about 24 ladies there. The area was beautiful. I took pics of nature and of the ladies. We each had a box, and over the weekend, we were to write notes of encouragement to every lady and put it into their box. We weren't allowed to read them until after we got home. My box is sitting on the floor next to the green chair in my room. I haven't read any yet. But will soon.

Had a nice weekend. We were to go on two prayer walks, one by ourselves Saturday morning. I didn't do the morning one, but I did go on the group one in the evening. That was different, and I did like it. That evening, we roasted hot dogs over a bonfire and we had smores for dessert.

Yesterday afternoon, after I got home, we celebrated my sissy's birthday. Had a nice afternoon.

LND-Surgery date

I called over to the surgeon's office this afternoon after school. They called me back. Surgery has been scheduled for Tuesday, September 25. I do not know what time. I am expected to spend one night in the hospital.

What will be done that day. I will have lymph nodes removed from my right groin area. A port will be implanted into my chest. The port is for the high dose part of my treatment that will start sometime in October.

Last Day

This Friday, the 14th, is my last day to teach fourth grade where I have been teaching. The regular teacher also starts on Friday. I will let this teacher know what I have done, what I have had copied for her, and my opinion/take on the kids, to prepare her for next week. This afternoon was bad! I still have to be at Open House tomorrow night.

Hopefully I can sub next week.

Football

The Steelers are 1-0, while the Browns are 0-1. Why are the Browns 0-1? They were trashed, creamed, shut-down, stopped by the Steelers. The final score was 34-7. Guess what happened? Charlie Frye was traded to the Seahawks. Go Steelers!!!!!

Quiet is Short Lived

I think the title of this post summarizes up my week. At times it seems like they do not know what it means to be quiet. In my opinion, I think they think quiet means to talk. Don't get me wrong, they can be quiet, but they just don't like to be. One thing, I have been doing is making them wait, until they are quiet in line, before proceeding to restroom, lunch, leaving the building. From my time in TX, I could keep them after school as long as necessary (usually til 4 pm to make them practice being quiet-we were done at 3:45 pm). We have been the last ones out, and they have to be outside no later than 2:40. School gets out at 2:30 pm. I do not know what to do to get them to stay quiet, for the lesson. When it comes time to work on independent work, they like to talk, get up, not work, play, etc. I warn them that when it is time to turn in their work, whatever is not finished, I will count wrong. Doesn't seem to phase them. What will?

I have to spend the most of the time on reading, which includes reading, spelling, grammar, language, and writing. 45 minutes is not enough for math. 8 chapters is supposed to be taught in math during this grading period. For science, plants is supposed to be taught. What aspect of plants? I don't know, I'm not told. I decide for myself. I am working on pacing myself. I've been trying to give them a bit of study hall time.

They seem to have to use the restroom every hour or less. They do not like to accept the answer no. Today, the principal said on the morning announcements, nobody is allowed to use the restroom by themselves, only has a large group, go as a class. I had a few who about had a conniption. I said we would go around 10 am, maybe before lunch, around 1 pm. They need to go before school starts.

They are messy. Brand new school, floor looks terrible. I have them clean, doesn't last long. Floor is all marked up. Putting names on papers, a crime. Currently, I am taking 5 points off, soon, a 0 and being thrown away. I tell them to head notebook paper a certain way, do not want to do it. Show their work in, a few no way. As usual, there are some who thinks they are perfect, refuse to accept responsibility for the choices they make. I moved two to face the wall, away from other people. It was a crime. One chose to chunk the rest of the day. Lord, I need to wisdom, on what to do.

If I do no spend time seating during the day, my ankle is swollen, and the back, at the hole is also badly swollen.

Lake Erie

We went up to Geneva on the Lake yesterday to attend a wedding. I took a couple pics of Lake Erie.

Yellow Watermelon

My dad came home with a watermelon. When he cut into it, he found it wasn't red, but yellow. I never knew there were yellow watermelons. I think the red ones taste better than yellow.

My First Day of School

I was suppose to be at school by 8 am. I was there by quarter till. The school day is from 8:15 am to 2:30 pm. I didn't' leave until about 5:15 pm. I had a very long and tiring day. My feet hurt. Besides adding a 4th grade class, they also added 3 kindergarten classes. The other two 4th classes had like 34 or 35 students in each room.

I was given 11 and 12 students from the other two rooms, which gives me 23 students. We didn't move the kids until after lunch. I spent the morning, getting manuals, finding some supplies, making notes and lists. By noon, I was tired. I put my students into alphabetical order and made up a seating chart. By 12:30, all the students were in the classroom. I tried to introduce myself, talk about rules, etc. Do you know how hard that was? They would not shut-up. My students in TX talked, but not like this. I talk, they talk. I wait for them to get quiet, they still talk. Lining up, they talk. Standing in the hallway, they talk. I am hoping you can see the picture, I am making. Almost, non-stop talking. They wanted to go to the bathroom, I kept putting them off, because I couldn't get through anything, because of the NOISE.

After restroom break, we did a getting to know you worksheet. I saw to whisper, they do not know what that means. They were loud. After about 5-10 minutes, I said, by the time I count to 10, you will be sitting down, quietly. Were they? No way! I had to yell, raise my voice. In about 2-21/2 hours, I raised it about 5 times. We finish that activity, and I pass out a reading packet on the Oregon Trail.

We start reading it out loud. Get through about half of the paragraphs. Some were talking, not paying attention, had no idea where they were, etc. I stopped, and told them they were on silence and would work on the packet by themselves in silence. No talking. There is about 30 minutes left in the school day. Were they quiet? NO! The principal even came into the room, before school was out, they still talked while working, even though I said no talking.

On Tuesday, I will assign them numbers, and they will line up in number order. When they want to be rude and disrespectful, they will sit with heads down, and practice being quiet. They will also practice standing quiet in a vertical line. I told them they are in the 4th grade and know how to do it properly. Since they don't seem to, then they will practice.

After school, I had to get textbooks, short on heath books, talk to teammates, and think about for next week. I will do lesson plans over the weekend. I copied pages for Tuesday only. I will do the rest of the week on Tuesday.

This is very interesting, the principal is a year older than me, and we went to the same elementary school. She has a daughter in the first grade, who is going to the same school we went to; which is where my niece goes to school. Her daughter and my niece has been going to the same summer camp. This principal knows my niece. A small world.

The next few weeks will be a challenge. I feel for the kids, in knowing they will have a new teacher in a few weeks. I am not going to decorate the classroom. I will be taking as little stuff from home as possible. It is a nice school. I pray and hope things go better next week.

Teaching Job

I will be teaching 4th grade for 2-3 weeks starting tomorrow. Yeah!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited.

Akron Public Schools opened two new schools yesterday. One was a rebuilt (old building torn down for a new one to be built), and the other was an actual brand new school. Both schools had extra students show up yesterday than they were expecting. So they need extra teachers. In about three weeks, they turn in the number of students for each school, and that tells them how many teachers they can have, if any need to be moved or what. This school I will be at, they are adding classes of the different grades. I will teach fourth grade until they time of turning in numbers and deciding from where they will get the teachers they need. Who knows, maybe they might actually need to add positions and hire new teachers. It will be great to be making money.

Update on Surgery and PT

I called over to my surgeon's office this afternoon to speak to Deidra. The two current residents are rotating out on Saturday, with two more rotating in. One of the two rotating in, I saw back in May and he did my surgery at the end of June. The doctors are only in the office on Wednesday mornings. She will talk to the two residents next week, and find out which one wants to do my surgery. From there it will be scheduled. I hope to know come next week.

I have two more PT visits, then I will be finished. I went because I was off my right leg for 10 days, and the doctor wanted me to get some help in stregthening my leg. I talked to the PT, and I have decided that after I have surgery and the high dose of my treatment, for him to recommend me to go back to PT for the lyphodema. I will wear the stocking every day, but I think having some type of exercises might help also. That is my opinion.

Indians vs Twins

What an awesome game last night! I went to the Indians game last night. I had been bugging my mom all summer about going to a game. Last Wednesday, on the way home from church, I heard on the radio, that Monday's game will be military appreciation night. I called the Indians Team Shop at Summit Mall twice on Thursday making sure I had the details I needed. Friday evening, dad, stopped at the mall to show his military I.D., he is a vet, to pick up two free tickets. Our tickets were in section 178 there at the left field. We were next door to the bleachers section, with Home Run Porch above and behind us. We had to turn to the side to see the big screen.

Grady Seizemore walked to start the bottom half of the game, and scored that inning as well. Paul Byrd was the starting pitcher for the Indians. He was great the first four innings. In the bottom of the 4th, we scored 4 runs, so Byrd had to sit a little too long. Kelly Shoppach is Byrd's personal catcher, so Victor Martinez played first, giving Ryan Garko a night off. Victor hit a 2 run home run in the third inning. Kelly hit a 2 run double in the 4th. I was so happy for him, since his previous at bats, he mostly struck out. He was due some good at-bats. I think Kelly is a good player. The score is now 5-0. Kelly and Grady are on base. Travis Hafner hits a 2 run single and the score is now 7-0. The guys had some good at-bats with men on base and in scoring position.

Paul Byrd came out the top of the fifth and was a bit rusty. He allowed 2 runs to score. The top of the sixth, he allowed a in the park home run-the ball hit the yellow line at the top of the wall in left field. At the end of the sixth, mom went to the restroom. Byrd comes back out at the top of the seventh. I wasn't expecting him to come back out. Byrd couldn't get an out. Rafael Perez warms up in the bullpen, and comes out to replace Paul Byrd. At this time, mom comes back and I head to the restroom. What I am going to share next, I missed, because I was in the restroom.

There were to men on base with no outs in the top of the seventh. The Twins players were on first and second base. Perez throws the ball, the Twins player (don't remember his name) hits the ball, and it travels towards third base. Casey Blake, third basemen, gloves the ball, steps onto third base, throws it to Cabrera, who is standing on second base, who then throws it Victor Martinez at first base. They completed an infield triple play! That was the first American League triple play made this season.

When was the last time, Indians completed a triple play? 1992, in August, in Baltimore. That time, Kenny Lofton playing in center field, gloved the ball and threw to Sandy Alamor, the catcher who then threw it to complete the triple play. The last time the Indians completed a triple play in Cleveland, was in 1976.

Cleveland Indians won the game last night with the final score of 8-3. Paul Byrd's record is now 13-5. The Indians have three pitchers with records close to 15 wins. They won 3 games in a row. The Detroit Tigers also won last night, 16-0 against "The Enemy", aka: New York Yankees. So we are still 2 1/2 games above the Detroit Tigers. We are in first place, while the Tigers are in second place.

There were times last night, when I said the pitcher needed to throw a strike, and guess what, he did. It was a great game last night! I just loved it! Can't you tell?

Victory One Step at a Time

"And the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you little by little; you will be unable to destroy them at once, least the beasts of the field become too numerous for you." Deuteronomy 7:22

When God led His people into the Promised Land, He did so step by step. If he had allowed them to annihilate their enemies at once, the land would be have been too difficult to manage. So He allowed some of the enemies to remain for a time in order to maintain the land and suppress the wildlife. In doing so, God taught His people to trust Him step by step. He gave them only as much responsibility as they could handle at one time.

As God leads you in your Christian growth, he will allow challenges that match your character and relationship to Him, God will not totally change your character at once when you become a Christian. Rather, He will lead you through a process to become more life His Son. He will keep working in an area in your life until it is controlled by the Holy Spirit. You may eagerly desire maturity in every area of your character, but steady, gradual growth is more lasting. God will not take shortcuts in His process of making you like Christ. He see your life from eternity and will take as long as necessary to produce lasting spiritual growth in you.

Do not become impatient while God is producing Christlikeness in you. Do not seek more responsibilities than those He has given you. Obey all that you know He has asked, and He will lead you at peace that fits your present character and His purposes for you.

This as today's devotional written by Henry T. and Richard Blackaby, from the following: Experiencing God Day-by Day, the devotional and journal. I have been using this book since October 2000 with my devotions.

Car Title Problems

Back in 1999, when I was living in Houston, and working in New Caney ISD, I wanted a new car. In October, my dad picked up a car and my loan papers, and drove to TN to meet me. My parents and I exchanged cars. I paid sales tax. Within the month, I got what I needed so I could go and register my car in TX and get license plates. I didn't need to pay sales tax, so that was refunded back to me.

Spring forward three years to 2002, I bought a car, and traded in my other car. I wasn't charged sales tax. Spring forward five more years to the present. My tags expired at the end of last month. We found out what I needed to do. But, I wasn't given all of the info. My dad did e-check, and got my sales paper from the dealer and did something else there for my car. I went to the title bureau, got the memorandum title, and could only get the 30 day tags. My car was paid off this month and received my title.

I went down to the Title bureau this morning, to have my address changed on my title. (I was told I had to do that last month in order to get new license plates.) An old TX address is on my title. The only way they would do it, is if I could show proof that I had pay sales tax on my car. I can't show proof, because I didn't'. The only good thing, is that I am going to pay the sales tax from 2002 not what it is now. The 2002 sales tax is 5.75%. It is higher now. Now I have to go back with the money for the sales tax, then they will change my address, so I can go across the hall and get my license plates. Such frustration.

Here is another piece of frustrating news, I was turned down for disability, because the department is under suspension. Why tell people to apply for disability when they know it is under suspension and nobody will be okayed. I need to call them and ask them this question. I need it to help me get medicare. About 3 weeks ago, I went to apply for SS, and was turned down, because when asked if I had a 401K, I said no, but did have a 403B. I now have to close that out so I can reapply for SS. I can't have more than $2,000 in savings. They don't want you to have savings for retirement, but you aren't' supposed to rely on SS for retirement. They just don't' make sense.

Giants

"Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword, a spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted.'" I Samuel 17:45 (NASB)

Imagine you were a member of the Israelite army the day young David arrived to take on the Philistine giant. You would have considered David a fool to take on this menacing monster with no armor and only a slingshot for a weapon. No doubt the fight would be a short one!

David wasn't as naive as everyone thought. Nor was he blind. he could see Goliath towering over all the other soldiers. Even from a distance, he noticed his enemy's enormous weapons-his sow rd, his spear, and h is javelin. He saw how huge the giant's shield was. Yet David could see other things that the rest of the crowd missed. He could see God's strength, which was far superior to any giant or his weapons. It's interesting that even David may have underestimated how quickly God would give him victory. He took five stones with him to hurl at Goliath; God needed only one.

For you,a giant is anything you are facing that seems beyond your power to handle. It may be a tuition payment, an illness, or a broken relationship you need to mend. What giant you facing right now? Does it seem enormous? Unbeatable? Don't underestimate how powerful your God is! If you will trust him, as David did, you'll see that God is more powerful than any giant you'll ever face.

This was yesterday's devotion in The Experience. It is a devotional and journal. It is written by Henry Blackaby and Richard Blackaby. Blackaby wrote Experiencing God. I have two devotional books by Blackaby. I love them both. They are two of my favorite books. One, I have been using since October 2000. My other favorite devotional book author is Vicki Caruana. Carauna writes devotions for teachers.

Nothing is Wasted

Read: Mark 2:30-44

"They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish." Mark 6:42-43

In Mark 6 we read the heart-warming story of how Jesus took the loaves, broke them, multiplied the fish, and gave everybody lots to eat with lots left over. They gathered baskets full of leftover bread so nothing would be thrown away.

I think about that story when I watch a Christian go through tough times yet hang on to God's grade. Maybe you're such a person. Day-to-day heartache is your routine, and problems seem to have a permanent place in God's plan for your. What god is doing with you is like what he did with the barley loaves and fish. Jesus broke the bread. And out of the broken loaves of bread, he multiplied the blessing so thousands would be nourished. Yes, it hurts to be broken. But sometimes that's part of God's plan, especially if he wants you feed others. Out of your brokenness, the blessing can be bestowed on more people than you ever dreamed possible-and your can be certain nothing will be wasted. God will gather up and use all the hurt; not a bit of it will be discarded our cast aside.

Joni Eareckson Tada

Path to Prayer
Bread of Life, Lord of all, I pray that you take the hurt and the brokenness of my life and multiply it as you multiplied the loaves and fish. My suffering will be easier for me to bear if I know that you have used me to feed others and heal them. Thank you for blessing me and blessing others through me.

The above is today's devotional from the following book: 365 Days of Hope Encouragement for those facing loss, pain, and disappointment The authors of this book are as follows: Joni Eareckson Tada, Dave & Jan Dravecky.

My Decision

Saw a Melanoma Doctor up at Cleveland Hospitals this afternoon. He agrees that I should do the recommended treatment. So, I am. I am going to have more surgery. I will be having the lymph node disection. I should hopefully find out next week when. Mom and I are going to go a certain pharmacy tomorrow, so I can be measured for a pressurized stocking. I will have to wear this stocking for the rest of my life. I will have problems with swelling for the rest of my life.

I also want to have a port implanted into me as well. I am going to call Dr. Patel's office tomorrow, to ask about a general surgeon to see about him putting into me. I would prefer it to be done the same time, the lymph node disection is going on, so that I won't have to heal from two separate surgeries.

Once the lymph nodes are taken out, then they will be tested for cancer. If they come back positive, then I would be at Stage 3b, instead of Stage 3a. I might even have to do radiation or something like that before doing immunotherapy.

Another thing found either on the scans or from pathology were granulomas. That has something to do with Sarcoid. I will have to see a pulmonary doctor next year about that. If I have Sarcoid, that would explain the cough I have had since I was a kid. The immunotherapy can cause havic on the sarcoid, and if that would become worse, then the immunotherapy would be stopped.

As of right now, I have a 30% chance of a new case of melanoma within the next three years. If there is cancer in my other lymph nodes, then that percentage goes up.

I was told that there was at least two pockets of microscopic cancer in the lymph node that was taken out in June. My melanoma was ulcerated, because it was bleeding off and on since January of this year. Dr. Burns removed 3.25 mm of the melanoma tumor in May. Another 1.2 mm was removed back in June.

I am also going to have to start seeing a dermatologist, and will be seeing this person for the rest of my life.

How do I feel about this? I can't really say. I have been feeling a little detached from this all. I'm glad the decision has been made. I appreciate how this doctor really explained things to us. I am praying that God will use all that I am going through to feed somebody else.

Another Job Interview

I was supposed to have a job interview this morning, but it has been postponed to Monday morning, because they had no electricity from yesterday's storms. (I had posted my resume online with something dealing with the state of OH sometime this summer.) This job opening is for a math tutoring position. I think that would be pretty flexible, for doing treatments and stuff. I will find out more info on Monday. This job is in Sterling, OH. Sterling is located in Wayne County, out on Rt 3.

I didn't get the job in Elyria, OH. I so okay with not getting that one. That wouldv'e been way too much.

I will post more about the job on Monday.

Getting a Second Opinion

My onc, suggested I get in touch with four other places to help in my research on clinical trials. I left messages last Friday. One place called me back on Friday. The others called me back yesterday.

I have scheduled an appointment for next week, on the 15th. I am going up to University Hospitals in Cleveland. My goal from this is to get some help in making my decision in what treatment to choose. I do have a few clinical trials printed up.

These doctors have better understanding in all of the treatments, and know what might be best for someone of my age, with my stage, and where exactly the melanoma was. He might even have at idea of which clinical trial might be good for me or not.

I am still not sure how this will effect in me trying to work this fall. I interviewed for a teaching position up in Elyria, this morning. This school is over 80 miles round trip. I didn't tell the principal about having melanoma. I didn't want the cancer to be the reason I don't get. If I am offered the job, then I will tell her, and then it might be recinded. Who knows. I could be wrong in not telling her up front. I don't know.

Every day, I ask the Lord for wisdom in this, and to show me what he wants me to do.

A Daunting Task

I spent a lot of time on the computer yesterday. I was looking at the following website: www.clinicaltrials.gov. I was looking at different trials. This is a daunting task I have before me, searching for the treatment that is right for me. I called and left messages for somebody at Cleveland Clinic, University Hosptials, Ohio State University Medical Center, and University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Somebody from OSU called me back. He sent me an email of four different trials. There is one trial going on at OSU that is also at Akron General Medical Center. General is close to me. One requirement for that trial is to have a lymph node disection.

I don't understand everything I read. I don't understand everything I read on the MPIP website I look at everyday. How do I know if a trial is good for me or not? The majority of them are for people with mestatic melanoma. That I don't have. There are 225 clinical trials listed on the above website. Jsut thinking about this, is making me down this afternoon. I did print up some yesterday, but I just don't know. I would rather stay here, but I am willing to travel up to 3 hours away at the most. If I do travel, I would probably have to stay there for awhile. Is that a good thing?

Lord, which treatment do you want to do? Who do I talk to, to help me? I am basically on my own in this search. I do know, that once I have a few options, then I want to go and talk to my oncologist about them. Do I choose one with the possibility of taking many different kinds of drugs? What about the vaccine trial. Could I find one, where they pay for the drugs? Lord, where am I going to find the money to pay for this? What about the side effects? Complications? There are so many questions to ask. I know there are questions, that I haven't even thought of. Lord, please provide me with some help. I don't want to become too overwhelm. I know I need to make a decision soon. The sooner I start the treatment the better. I need some help, Lord. Thank you for listening Lord.

PET Scan Results

Good News! Good News! Good News! Good News! Good News! Father, thank you for the good news. According James 1:5, I am asking for wisdom in what to do next.

Can you tell how happy I am? The PET Scan came back negative. The Melanoma hasn't spread! God is good. Even if the melanoma had spread, God would still be good.

I have lost some weight this past week. I went a whole week without any Pepsi. That is right, I didn't drink any pop. I will have some today. Last week, the scale at Dr. Patel's office said 297 lbs, this week it said 272 lbs. I came home and used my parent's scale and that one said 295.8 lbs. My parents is a digital one. We all know what the doctor's office is one like. Which one do I believe? My mom said she has noticed how my stomach hasn't gotten flatter, that is due to doing situps in the morning. I have digressed.

What is the recommended treatment for someone at stage 3a of melanoma? It is first lymph node disection. That is having more lymph nodes taken out. The side effects to that is not pretty. Lymphodema, swelling, wounds not healing very fast. Wearing a pressurized stocking to help with the swelling. I really don't want to have the surgery. The next step is immunotherapy. This treatment lasts one year. The first month is IV M-F for four weeks, then the next 12 months, an injection three times a week, done at home. The first month, would be either at the hospital or the doctor's office. There are side effects, flu-like symptoms, fever, feeling achy all over, depression or that gets worse. Those are the major side effects. Everybody is effect differently.

I will do some type of treatment. With being 36, it is better to fight it, because if it comes back and spreads, then it is it incurable. There is a chance of recurrences in the first 1-2 years. Dr. Patel did tell me to do some research on clinical trials and see if I qualify. He gave me a website and told me which three areas to call and see what they have. I have to let him know what I am going to do.

If I decide to do the immunotherapy, and because of my veins being very deep and hard to get to, a port would be surgically implanted for the IV part of the treatment. I have asked if that could be done at the same time as the lymph node disection, so I would only have to have one surgery, instead of two. The hole on my right leg has to continue to heal, basically completely close up before the treatment can be started. Treatment probably will not start until sometime in September.

I pray that the Lord will show me what to do. What is best for me. I am praying for wisdom.

Good News

I had an appointment this morning with the surgeon (actually, the resident). I do not have to wear any more dressings on my right leg over the hole,unless I want to. He said, that it looks good and is healing nicely. He also said, to keep up with I have been doing. I will wear a dressing at night, since it is still draining, I don't want to get anything onto my sheets. Mom still has to wash the hole at night and again in the morning, and I had to buy some lotion to put on there as well.

The resident was ready to schedule my surgery for the removal of more lymph nodes in my groin area. I told me that the cancer doctor wasn't quite sure yet if that is going to happen or not. I will find out more on Friday. Went to PT today and will go back again next Wednesday morning.

Went and got 30 day tags for my car. Time to say bye-bye to my TX license plates. In a month, I will go back to OH plates. If I want to change my driver's license from TX to OH, I have to take the written test. I am not planning on doing that anytime soon. My driver's license doesn't expire for 4 more years. I will wait and see what happens in the next year.

PET Scan

This afternoon, I had my P.E.T. Scan. I went back around 1 pm. It took the guy two tries to get the IV started. First, he tried my right wrist. That one hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My vein wouldn't cooperate, and he had to take the needle out. Next, he tried my left arm at the elbow, and my vein cooperated. My veins are down deep and they are small. I drank fluids, mostly water, to prepare for the test. After the radioactive glucose was injected, I had to sit quietly for about an hour.

After the hour was up, I was taken to the room for the test. I had to lay flat on my back. It lasted about 2 hours. The only thing I was allowed to move were my arms. My arms were not allowed to go into the machine. It was 6 different 10 minutes of pictures being taken, from the base of my skull to my mid thighs. Then a group of 3 minutes each of pictures taken of my legs. It was very boring. I will more of these to come in the future.

I will find out the results on Friday, when to see the cancer doctor. On a funny note, I put the peatnutbutter into the fridge this morning. As soon as I realize what I did, I took it out. At supper, my dad tried to tell me that I left the peanutbutter in the fridge. He basically had me.

Musings

This morning, I was writing in my diary, while listening to "Down Gilead Lane" on WCRF. This thought came to my mind. I needed to apologize to God. When the doctor told me yesterday, that there were a couple of suspicious spots he saw on the CT Scan, that is what I only focused on. I forgot, and should've focused on that over 95% of the scans were clear. I apologized to God, and have told a few people that also. I am very thankful, that there were only a couple of suspicious spots. Thank you Father. You are an awesome God. Focusing on the bad parts is not good. I need to focus on the good. You know what is best, and what is going on, even though, I don't completely understand. I ask that you open my eyes, so that I can see all of this through your eyes, and not through my sinful, human eyes. I love you very much. I am thankful that you are in charge and you are my Abba.

CT Scan Results

I saw the cancer doctor this morning. He saw three things on the films. I have sinuses inflamed on the right side, a 3mm nodule in the upper lobe of my left lung, and a lymph node in the chest area. They are too small for a biospy to be done. On Monday afternoon, I will have a PET Scan done. I have to be there at 12:30 pm for registration, 1 pm, the prep starts and lasts an hour, and the actual test lasts an hour. I will have an IV inserted for them to inject stuff into me.

Next Friday, I will find out the results of this test. I will find out what treatment I will have, what stage I am at, and if I have to have more lymph nodes removed or not.

I have already been told what to expect if I have to have more lymph nodes removed. I will be measured for a stocking in advance, that will have to be worn. The surgery will require an overnight stay at the hospital. There could be swelling in my leg, especially the thigh area. (That is not good, and I am already big there.) Also any wounds I recieve to the leg, will be slow in healing or might not heal at all.

I am sad and disappointed. God did answer my prayer, just not to my liking. I have thanked him for answering my prayer. I asked for the scan to come back negative, that the cancer hasn't spread. I don't understand why for this interuption into my life to have cancer right now. Later in my life, I will understand. I wouldn't say that getting cancer is the best for me, but God does say. God knows what he is doing. I have to trust him, but that is a little hard. I do want God to be glorified through this.

Also on Monday, I am going to try to start the process in applying for Medicaid/Medicare. I have to take certain papers with me, and it requires waiting. I will only have the morning to wait, that is it. I pray that I will have everything with me on Monday, and that I will be able to start the process. I have to have something to pay for my medical costs. I am hoping to sub this coming school year, but I don't know how often I will be called and able to sub. Plus, I found out the cost of the PET Scan for Monday, $6,000-$8,000. I do not have that kind of money.

Father, please carry my burdens. You know what I need. Please provide for me.

Getting Smaller

I noticed tonight that the hole on my back leg (where the melanoma was removed) is getting smaller. But, at night, my mom, notices that the top part of the hole is swollen and puffy. It is because I am on my leg during the day. No matter, how much time I do sit with it up, it still is swollen. In the morning, the swelling is down. It has been one month since I had my surgery.

I am nervous about tomorrow. I printed up some things tonight about a clinical trial, and a couple of other treatments for melanoma. One printout has questions to ask about clinical trials.

This morning, I saw 3 deer. Two were fawns, and one was the mama deer. I thanked the Lord for allowing to see the deer.

Joke

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Pain Cause*
A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then prepared a bowl of soup.

Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner. The pastor began to feel bad. Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 36 years old today. And, no, I do not look it.

I had to be up early (6:30) to do some excerises before going downstairs to do my deovotions. I recieved a text message at 6:45 wishing me a happy birthday. I recieved two birthday cards this morning. Mom and I left around 8:15 to go into town. I had an 8:45 am doctor's appointment with the surgeon. I saw a different resident than the last two times. She took out a staple that wasn't taken out earlier this month. A nurse took a pic of my leg. They talked about measuring me for a stocking, which would be worn if I have to have more lymph nodes taken out. (I will know more about that come Friday.) I left there around 10:15. Mom took me back to APS. We left there close to 12:30 pm. Met my sis at Wendy's for lunch. She gave me two cards, one from my niece and one from her. Her card reminded me that she will always be younger than me.

Came home. While I was reading the newspaper, my best friend called to wish me a happy birthday. I am going out to CiCi's Pizza tomorrow with my cousin and my grandma for lunch.

Morton Family Reunion

Last night we had over 30 people at my house. We had a family reunion from my mom's side. For the first time in 17 years the three sister-in-laws were together. The three Morton brothers have all passed away. The third one died two months ago. There were people here last night, that I had never met. It was nice. As usual, I took a bunch of pictures. My sis let me borrow her camera, since all of my batteries were dead.

CT Scan

I got up at 5:20 this morning to go downstairs to take the second dose of the "goop". I drank a class of orange juice and a glass of ice water along with that dose. Then I went back to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. My third dose I drank on the way the place. My doctor forgot to sign the order yesterday, so they had to call him, and do some faxing to get it signed.

I went into the room with the machine and had to drink another, but much smaller dose of that "goop". I kept all four doses down. That is a God thing for that to happen. Plus they had to insert an iv to inject more stuff. They tried both arms, and found a vein at the base of my left arm, above the thumb. I drank water yesterday, but not enough. My veins are down deep and are hard to find.

She took pictures from my head down to my pelvic area. At one time, she injected the stuff and took pics. This was called a CT Scan with contrast. I will find out the results next Friday, when I go see Dr. Patel. I am praying that the scan comes back negative. I am praying that the melanoma hasn't spread anywhere else.

One down and two to go

Tomorrow morning I have a CT Scan with contrast. I have to drink this goop. I have to drink at three different times. I just finished the first portion. I was able to eat. I washed a bowl of cherries, and had a glass of water. I'd drink a bit of that stuff, water, ate a couple of cherries, water, etc. Now I am eating a granola bar. This stuff does have a sweet smell to it. I had to drink 10 oz of it. I did start to gag part way through it, but I have been able to keep it down.

The next dose is at 5:30 am. I will have both a glass of water and orange juice. No food. Then I finish it at 8:30 am. I can't have anything then. I did pray before drinking it and aksed God to help me keep this down and not gag. I hope to be okay at 5:30 am, but the last dose will be the hardest one of them all. I pray that I will be able to drink it and keep it down.

Seeing the Cancer Doctor

M&D and I saw the cancer doctor this morning. It means a lot to me in having both of them there. I am going to have a CAT Scan tomorrow, to see if the cancer has spread. Hopefully it will look good and no need to have a PET Scan. I have to drink this goop tonight and tomorrow morning. I am praying that I will be able to keep it down and not throw it back up. I have to have blood work done as well. This will determine exactly what treatment I will have.

The doctor's plan is to do the immunotherapy or a clinical trial of something. Looking at no chemo. I am happy about that. No loosing my hair. I know it is vain, but I like my long hair. I was told the immunotheraphy will rev up my immune system. The side effects will be fever, chills, and flu-like syptoms. I will still be able to Sub this fall when I feel up to it. The immunotherapy lasts a year. I will be IV's M-F for so many weeks, then injections three times a week.

With the info the doctor has, he says I am at Stage 3A, because a lymph node was removed. There are 5 stages in melanoma, from stage 0-4.

I am disappointed. I wanted to teach full-time this fall. I still don't understand. God has great plans out there for me. I want him to be glorified throughout all of this. Here is a thought, I haven't shared with anybody before, I'm still single, will I stay single, because of having cancer? Because of having cancer, will I be a liablity in getting a full-time teaching position next year? Why God? Why now? How does this fit into your plan? Are you trying to teach me something?

Next week, I will go to PT (physical therapy) and see both doctors.

Infection

When I saw the doctor last week, he said to call the office if the right corner was getting red. Mom made a comment Saturday night, while chaning the dressing, that my leg was red. It was redder yesterday afternoon, when she changed it. She changed it again this morning before going to work. She said it was really red, a little warm, and there was a smell. I called the doctor's office and he agreed to see me at 4:30 pm in between surgries. Turns out I have a small infection in my leg. Now mom, has to actually put some soap in the hole when I shower, use distill water on gauze pads in the hole before putting on a new dressing.

It was God, that I was able to get into to see him this afternoon. If I had to wait, it would've gotten worse. I was also given a prescription for an antibotic to take.

Frog in Toilet

Yesterday morning, I went upstairs to my room to get ready for church. I walked into my bathroom and over to the toilet. The pic above shows what I found in my toilet yesterday morning. That is right, I found a green frog inside my toilet. My dad took the pic before taking it out.

This and That

I saw the surgeon yesterday. The right corner of the skin transplant still hasn't taken yet. My mom says the hole looks ugly. I haven't looked inside the hole, it is kinda hard to do so. I can see that there is a hole.

I haven't used the cane at all today. I need to start sleeping in my bed soon. I haven't started driving yet, and actually dont' need to. I am going to let my leg heal more before I try to drive.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the grocery store with mom and grandma. Saturday, get to go to a craft show.

A school district in SC called earlier this afternoon, and they are going to try to set up a phone interview.

I read a really good book this week by Lisa Whelchel. She played "Blair" on The Facts of Life. She wrote kinda like an autobriography, but different lessons God taught her throughout her life. She then applied these lessons to us, by asking questions. She had scripture throughout the whole book. It was something I needed to read.

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News from the doctor

I had my surgery on Tuesday, June 26. It was scheduled as an outpatient surgery. It was decided Tuesday night, that I would be admitted to the hospital until Friday. Friday, 29th was the day to have my dressings changed. We had fun getting me into the house Friday afternoon. I couldn't put any weight on my leg. I had to use a walker with wheels and hop. One lymph node was taken out. My mom has had to change the dressing on my leg and she says it looks ugly. My right leg hurts at times and my left leg burns, stings, hurts. The skin transplant came from my left thigh.

Went to the doctor this morning to have my right leg looked at. No more splint!!!!! I can now put weight on my right leg!!!!!!!!! Both yeahs!!!!!!!! Now after the good news, comes the bad news. That is right, bad news. The lymph node that was taken out is cancerous. I will be seeing an oncologist (cancer specialist). I will know more about course of action after seeing him.

This means I am not moving to AZ next month. I will just sub. I dont' understand why. I dont' understand why God opened one door and then turned around and closed that same door. It doesn't make any sense to me.