Elivs Festival

Saturday, April 27 was the Elvis Festival at St. Clements Hall in Toledo, OH.  I have a friend that I met at church during college, and he sings Elvis and Buddy Holly.  He does a really good job.  I haven't seen him in about 16-17 years.  I drove to Toledo to see him sing and to reconnect with him.  I enjoyed listening to him sing.

He has recorded some music cds of him singing Elvis and Buddy Holly music. 

   I also got to see my former second grade teacher.  I haven't seen her in about twenty years, and that was when I was in college.  I stayed the night at her house, and went to church with her this morning.  After lunch, I came back home.  I had a very enjoyable weekend.

Everything Came Back Negative!

  I saw my oncologist this morning and I will see the surgeon this Friday morning.  From my oncologist, the results are negative.  Even the blood test that I had on March 1 came back  negative for Melanoma.  That means I am still NED!!!!!  I have been diagnosed with some inflammatory disease, probably sarcoid. Hard to say for sure which one.  I will have another PET/CT scan in three months on June 10 at 11 am.  Hopefully everything is back to normal and no new changes. 

My neck is still sore, I didn't like having stuff near my neck today.  I kept pulling at my sweater.  I had my name badge around my neck and my microphone on, and my it was bugging me.  It bothers me to turn my neck in certain directions and to raise my head up too far.  It will take time for that area to heal.  I am trying to keep my neck covered at school for now, so the kids won't have to see the incision area.

John 13:1-17 (Jesus Washing His Disciples' Feet)

      I only went to the service this morning, and the sermon I heard was from John 13:1-17.  This is a familiar story from the night of the Last Supper (Thursday night).  I heard a different perspective from this story.  After Jesus got done eating, he got up to wash the feet of his disciples. Jesus was the Master, he was above his disciples.  This is something that he should not be doing.  Washing one's feet belonged to a servant.  Jesus came to serve not to be served.  In the next 12 hours, Judas would betray Jesus, and Peter would deny Jesus three times.  Jesus knew all of this, but he still chose to wash these two guys' feet.  That is what we are to do.  We are to serve others, basically by asking them, "How can I help you?".  Those who have hurt us.  Those who we are not getting along with.   Those who we do not like.  We are to serve everybody! That is how we can be like Jesus.

Still Very Sore!

My muscles sure do hurt! It still hurts to cough.  I tried my recliner last night, not comfortable enough, so when I woke up three  hours after going to sleep, I took a pain pill and tried my bed, that was just as bad.  I hurt to move.  I am staying downstairs tonight and sleeping in my dad's recliner.  His chair is much more comfortable. 

I do feel better today, but since I hurt to move, and do not think I can do the stairs well at school, I am taking tomorrow off as well.  I will get dad to take me in the morning to prepare for the sub and to bring stuff home to grade.  I have to be able to move around at school.  I will stay home most of the weekend to rest.  I will go back to school Monday after my oncologist appointment.  By then,  I should be able to move around much better.

This was surgery number four in the past elven months.  That is a lot on one's body.

March 12's Surgery Update

I am very sore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Basically from my throat ( at times), but from my breast bone down to my butt muslces hurt.  It hurts to cough. 

  I started at Endoscopy, not out-patient surgery yesterday.  I got there a little before 11:30 and was taken back a little before noon.  My port was accessed twice and got no blood return.  A second lady came over and accessed me again, with still no blood return, but it did flush, so it was good to go for the IV.  They have been told, when using a port, you do not need blood return, in order to start an IV, but did does need to flush.

I was taken to surgery a little before 1:30, right after Dad showed up.  Both nurses had to see my hole, while in the elevator.  It doesn't bother me to show off the hole.  My lung doctor started first, and did the broncoscopy and did the needle biopsy of the lymph nodes.  That came back negative for cancer.  He went down into my lungs, but could not get to do a biopsy of the nodule.  It was very small, hard to reach.  H was using some type of xray to guide him.  Then my surgeon took over and took out a few lymph nodes, and they came back negative.  But due to my history and to play it safe, he continued and took  more out.  I was in surgery for 3  hours.  I was moved to in patient recovery room because of the type of surgery I had, instead of out patient recovery room.

I had a hard time waking up.  I just wanted to sleep.  I had that issue before, I think a couple of years ago, and maybe even in 2007.  The nurses made me get out of bed around 8 to walk and we left before 8:30 pm.  Dad picked us up from out patient doors, and as soon as he turned onto Goodkirk off of Forge St, he had to pull over, so I could throw up.  I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours, and just had a bit of water on my stomach.

When I got home, I went to my dad's chair, and that is where I slept last night.  Where the incision is, it feels heavy and tight.  I am still pretty tired today.  I am taking tomorrow off to rest some more.

I see my oncologist on Monday morning and will see the surgeon on the 22nd.  I will be late to school on Monday and will be taking the 22nd off from school.

On the 25th, I will be 5 1/2 years NED.  I am praying that I still am NED.

New Surgery Date

I had my ringer on my phone both Thursday and yesterday at school.  I finally got the info I wanted yesterday morning.  Surgery is scheduled for 1:30 pm on Tuesday, March 12 at City Hospital.  I was told to be at out patient by 11:30 am.  Later, I got a voice mail saying to be someplace else by 11:30 am.  I left a message for a certain person at the doctor's office, and she called me back later.  I have to be at Endoscopy by 11:30 am.  That is where the bronscopy will be done.  Do not know if I will stay there for the other part, or be transferred to a different operating room.

Lung Doctor Appointment

  I got a sub for the afternoon, went home, and mom went with my to my doctor's appointment this afternoon.  The doctor said it was easier to have me come in than try to explain things over the phone.  Last Friday, the surgeon hunted my lung doctor down at the hospital (lung doctor was in surgery) and my oncologist called him also.  Surgery is not on Monday, but looking like on Tuesday, will know more tomorrow.  My lung doctor is not exactly available to do surgery on Monday, that is why there is a change in the date.

    What will be done during my surgery?  First, a bronchial scope to do a needle biopsy of the lymph nodes.  If that comes back clean, then he (lung doctor) will try to do a needle biopsy of nodules in my lungs.  If that comes back clean (of cancer), then the surgeon will make an incision along my neck above the breast bone, and insert the camera and take out lymph nodes.  If at any point the needle biopsies come back positive for cancer, then they are done with surgery, because that means I am no longer NED (remission) and will move up to stage IV.  If all three come back clean, no cancer, then my lung doctor will decide if I will receive treatment for sarcoid.  Treatment for sarcoid is perdisidone (steroids).  So far, I have not received any treatment for sarcoid.

   Sarcoid and granulomar disease is basically the same thing.  Sarcoid is basically an inflammation of the lungs.  Doctors don't really know how people get sarcoid, but mom and I think I've had it since I was a kid.  Sarcoid can get worse, enough damage done to the lungs that a transplant will be needed.  The doctor said that back in October, I had 83% of Oxygen going from my lungs to the blood.  That was a slight change from February 2012.  I am scheduled for another lung function test in May.

   I called my oncologist's office this afternoon, to see if I could get the blood test results from last Friday.  He told me that I could call this week.  The nurse I talked to said I couldn't get the results until he came back to the office next Monday, he is on vacation this week.

   I think my brother could've had sarcoid also, but he has also never been tested for it as well.

Seeing the Lung Doctor

  This afternoon, I had a voicemail from my lung doctor's office.  He wants to see me tomorrow afternoon at 1:15 pm.  I decided to go, because I know that eventually, I would be seeing him this spring.  That means, having to have a sub for tomorrow afternoon.  I wonder why he wants to see me?  I wonder if he has the blood test results for the sarcoid test?

Timmy's Funeral

  Today, was my brother's funeral.  The family had to be at church by 9:30, so we could have our own time with him, before friends came to pay their respects.  It was hard to see  him in the casket.  He still looked puffy.  When I saw his fingers, I could no longer tell that he used to suck his fingers.  I thought they looked good.  I and the house manager spoke about Timmy at the funeral.  It was a nice funeral.  Saw people who I haven't seen in years.  I had a few friends come and I surely appreciate them being there.  Those who came were showing respect because they knew us in someway.  Thank you to all who came to the funreal.  The middle section seemed pretty full.  It was nice.

  I got to choose the poem that went into the memory card of my brother.  Here is the poem:

For those I Love....

For those who love me.

When I am gone, release me, let me go...

I have so many things to see and do.

You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears,

Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love, You can only guess

How much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each gave shown,

But now it's time to travel on alone.

So grieve awhile for me, if you must.

Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for awhile that we must part,

So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on,

So if you need me call and I will come.

though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near.

And if you listen with your hear you'll hear

All of my love around you soft and clear.

And them when you must come this way alone,

I'll greet you with a smile and say, Welcome Home.

      My brother is in Heaven!  I will see him again some day, and receive Timmy hugs for eternity, but it is hard, but I still want to get them here on earth.  

  Mom and I stopped at the library this afternoon, and I was looking at books for school, and was thinking I wouldn't be able to check out children's books again, then stopped, oh yeah, I can for my students at school.  I used to go to the library to find books to read to Timmy.  I really enjoyed reading to him.  He was a great brother!

Surgery Date

I called the surgeon's office, while we were outside at recess.  I was told that they still hadn't heard back from the hospital, and the hospital wasn't sure if they could add another new person to the schedule of surgery or not.  A couple of hours later, my phone rang ( I had the ringer on and in my pocket), and it was the surgeon's office.  Surgery is scheduled for Monday, March 11 at noon.  I have to be there by 10 am. The surgery will be at City and it is outpatient. 

  I am taking the next day off as well.  I told the secretary that I would call the school on the 12th to let them know for sure if I will or will not be  at school on Wednesday.  I do have an appointment with my oncologist on the 18th at 8:30 am.  I do not know if there will be follow-up with the surgeon or not.  I plan on going to school after my doctor's appointment on the 18th, but that could always change.

Active Sarcoid or Melanoma

  I saw the surgeon and my oncologist this morning and  this afternoon.  I like the surgeon.  He showed me pictures of the scans of my lungs and had copies made for me.  He showed me where the nodules were and where the lymph nodes are that have swelled up.  The lymph nodes are around my windpipe.  The nodules are either Melanoma or scar tissue (Granulomars) which is Sarcoid.  Sarcoid causes the nodules, lymph nodes to swell, and the spleen to get bigger.  Sarcoid is treatable.  I was told back in the summer of 2007, that I had Sarcoid.  One syptom is a cough, which I have basically had off and on since I was a kid.  I had blood drawn this afternoon via a vein,  so it could be tested for Sarcoid.  This test is not the best test, but it is used.  I have not had the bronchial scope done, even though  my lung doctor has talked about it before.  He is going to be brought up to speed by both the surgeon and my oncologist.

I am waiting to hear back from the surgeon's office, but as of now,  I will be having surgery next Friday, March 8.  It is a short, out patient procedure.  A small slit is made just above my breast bone, and a camera is sent down, and he will remove some lymph nodes and they will be tested.  As of now, I am scheduled to see my oncologist on Monday, March 18 at 8:30 am.  The sooner this is done the better for me.

  I now just have to tell my parents tomorrow night after I pick them up from the airport.

Been thinking...

From what has been going on this month, I was thinking last night.  Back in December, mom and I had been talking about Obama Care  and how it could affect Timmy.  At some point, it would come that the hospital would say that we can not care for him.  They basically wouldn't be allowed to.  The main reason would be that he is handicapped.  So for him dying now is a blessing in disguise that we do not have to go through.

From what I read about Granulomar Disease, is eczema being active.  I have been having issues with mine since late summer.  I have been complaining about it, and have started thinking in the last few months, that maybe I had become allergic to tomato products.  It seems that my eczema would bother me when I ate pizza, spaghetti, chips and salsa, lasagna.  My eczema is the corners of my mouth.

PET/CT Scan

    Since the last time I had a PET/CT scan, some changes were made. Like, having to eat a high protein/low carb diet.  That is hard for someone who doesn't eat that way.  I had to really watch my sugar intake.  I couldn't eat birthday cake from a friend's surprise party yesterday.  I do not like Greek yogurt.  I knew I didn't like it, but ate a container of one yesterday.  I also had to limit my movement for yesterday.

   I went upstairs to have Infusion services access my port first, went downstairs, they gave me the drug, and you are to wait an hour before you can have the scan done, so I went back upstairs to be flushed and deaccessed.  They did two different sets of scans, totaling almost an  hour in length.  I will get the results on Friday.  I came home and basically did nothing the rest of the afternoon.  I drove gma nuts by watching tv for a few hours.

I think this is scare #6

So far, February has been a rough month, and March will also be rough.  Last Friday (2/15) I had my CT scan with contrast.  I saw my oncologist this morning for the results.  As the title says, another scare that my cancer is back.  What did the scan say?  Lymph nodes a little worse and they are not easily accessible; small nodules in both lungs 2-7 mm in size and too small to be biopsied, and my spleen is 2 cm bigger. My blood word I had done on the 5th cam back good.  I found out today that I was diagnosed with granuloma disease two years ago.  Go to the following website to find out more information about granuloma disease: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001239.htm. From reading this, I think my brother also had granuloma disease.  According to the website, it is an inherited disease, so both of my parents are carriers.

Next Monday (2/25) I will have a Pet/CT scan.  That Friday (3/1) I will be seeing a new doctor, a Cardiothoracic surgeon in the morning and see my oncologist early that afternoon.  I googled the surgeon, and from what I read, he is to be a top notch surgeon/doctor.

Depending on what the PET/CT scan says will determine the next steps.  Biopsy? Surgery?

It seems like every year, I have a scare of some kind.  I am tired of having a scare every year.  When can I go a year without scares?

Father,
      I know you know what you are doing?  You have plans to prosper me, not to harm me.  Please give me the strength to get through this.  I also what you to be glorified during this time.  Please use me in whatever way you deem.  Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.  I am not happy.  This on top of Timmy's death, and the stress of the school year seems to be too much bear.

Amen

RIP Timothy Andrew Sanyo

     Janiuary 30, 1977-February 13, 2013, is the life span for my brother.  He was admitted to the ICU this past Sunday morning.  I saw him that afternoon.  He was put on a respirator Monday to try to help clear up his lungs and to make it easier to breathe.  I was told Tuesday night that he wasn't doing good. A little before 1:30 pm yesterday, while my students were at special, I got a call, saying that Timmy was coming off the respirator and only had hours to live. I left school and went straight to the hospital.  We had a roomful of people.  We told stories about him and laughed, stories about how much of a stinker he could be.
     About 9:45 pm, he was moved out of ICU and to a regular floor.  I left a few minutes before 10 pm to come home and go to bed.  A little before 10:30 pm, the hospital called to say that Timmy had died.  I've been crying off and on since yesterday afternoon.
   My first thought was if I knew he would only live 30 more minutes that I would've stayed.  Then a few minutes later, I thought,  maybe he waited until I left to die, just to be a stinker one more time.  Like he had the last word.

This was taken on Christmas in 2010.

Timmy's funeral will be Tuesday, March 5 at Grace Baptist Church on Firestone Blvd, in Akron, OH at 11 am, and visitation at 10 am.  He will be burried next to Grandpa Sanyo.

Woe Is Me!

"So I said: 'Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.' "     Isaiah 6:5

      An exalted view of God brings a clear view of sin and a realistic view of self. A diminished view of God brings a reduced concern for sin and an inflated view of self.  Isaiah may have been satisfied with his personal holiness until he saw the Lord in His unspeakable glory.  Isaiah's encounter with holy God made him immediately and keenly aware of his own unholiness and the sinfulness of those around him.  It is impossible to worship God and remain unchanged.  the best indication that we have truly worshiped is a changed heart.

    Have we so conformed ourselves to a sinful world that we are satisfied with unholy living?  Have we sunk so far below God's standard that when someone does live as God intended, we consider that person "superspiritual"? If we only compare our personal holiness so those around us, we may be deceived into believing that we are living a consecrated life.  yet when we encounter holy God, our only response can be "Woe is me!"

     You will not see those around you trusting Jesus until they recognize a clear difference between you and the rest of the world.  God wants to sanctify you as He is holy.  When God deals with you there will be a radical degree of purity about your life that is absolutely different from what the world can produce.  The world, including those closest to you, will be convinced you serve a holy God by your consecrated life.

  This devotion is today's devotion in my Experiencing God Day-By-Day book by Henry and Richard Blackaby.  I have been using this book since October 2000.  I am on my second copy of the book.  I enjoy going back and rereading things I have written in the past and seeing if anything has changed.

Book Review

A couple of months ago, I saw a review for a book that Tony Danza (the actor) wrote.  I didn't get it for Christmas, so I bought it on Friday.  I read the book in three days!  The book is titled I'd Like to Apologize to Every Teacher I Ever Had.  The subtitle is "My Year as a Rookie Teacher at Northeast High".    Tony Danza graduated from college with a teaching degree before he started boxing and acting.

  Tony taught 10th grade English for one double block class, but was at the school all day.  He got involved in the school and  into his students' lives.  He writes about the lessons he taught, how his days were,  about his students, co-workers, and the projects his students did.  He wrote about his new understanding how hard teachers have it, and the work they put into their lessons and all of the responsibilities they have to do, and how the public puts education down.

  I really enjoyed the book, and I recommend others to read the book. 

Wait!

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."  Psalms 27:14

   Waiting is one of the hardest things to do in all the world! If you have to wait fro someone who is late, or if you're expecting something important in the mail, or if you've applied for a job and you're waiting for the phone to ring, waiting can almost drive you crazy!  Why is it so difficult to wait?  Waiting means you're not in control.  Someone else will determine what happens next.  Whether you're waiting on an inconsiderate friend, a slow postal system, or an indifferent employer, sitting helplessly can be excruciating.

    Waiting on the Lord is a different matter. God loves you more than you can even imagine.  Everything he does in your life shows his perfect love for you.  When God delays giving you something, he has a good reason.  It's not that he doesn't love you or that he wants to make you squirm.  it's a matter of timing.  Waiting on God reminds us of just how much our lives depend on him.  Every day we wait is another day to realize how helpless we are apart from his strength.  Waiting on God can be one of the most spiritually rewarding things we ever do.  Waiting on God is not sitting around doing nothing.  Waiting on God involves action on our part.  We should pray.  We should continue doing what God told us last.  We should watch for what he does next.  We should examine our hearts to see if any sin is hindering God's answer.

    if you are waiting on God for something right now, don't consider the time an idle, frustrating experience.  Trust that he loves you and that his answer will come.  in the meantime, get busy!

    This was yesterday's (December 29) devotion from the devotional:  The Experience a devotional and journal   by Henry and Richard Blackaby. 

Perception

  I have a good perception of myself.  There are times, where I can have a low self-esteem, but who doesn't at times.  I saw my lung doctor this afternoon. I will have another lung function test in May, and another sleep test in June.  (The sleep test is every two years.)  He said my lung function was 91%  in February and two months ago was 83%.  He wasn't too worried about that.
     I was looking at the paper of the visit in the car afterwards and go mad at him.  At the end of my list of medical problems/daignosis' and towards the end was morbid obesity.  That made me mad.  I do not think of myself as obesis.  I think of myself as full-figured.  I know I weigh a lot.  I lost about 50 pounds five years ago, and have basically gained most of it back.  I go up and down, but basically have maintained my weight.  I am fine with my looks.  (What bugs me about it, is the not dating part, and guys are wrong to not want to date me because of it. )  My lung doctor wants me to think about doing bariatic surgery.  I said that I would think about it, but I do not want to do it.
    I have made changes in what I eat.  I have cut back in my chocolate intake.  In the past few weeks, I have had more chocolate, but then again, this year has been very stressful and frustrating school year.
     People need to realize that what they say to others can hurt others their self-esteem.

Streams in the Desert: November 23

You have shown your people desperate times. (Psalms 60:3)

  I have always been glad that the psalmist said to God that certain times of life are desperate or difficult. Make no mistake about it, there are difficult in life.

   This summer someone gave me some beautiful pink flowers, and as I took them, I asked, "What kind are they?" My friend answered, "They are rock flowers. They grow and bloom only on rocks where you can see no soil."  then I thought of God's flowers growing in desperate times and hard places, and I somehow feel that He may have a certain tenderness for His "rock flowers" that He may not  have fro is lilies and roses.    Margaret Bottome 

  The trials of life are sent to make us, not to break us.  Financial troubles may destroy a person's business but build up his character.  and a direct blow to the outer person may be the greatest  blessing possible to the inner person.  So if God places or allows anything difficult in out lives, we can be sure that the real danger or trouble will be what we will lose if we run or rebel against it.  Maltbie D. Babcock   

          Heroes are forged on anvils hot with pain,
          And splendid courage comes but with the test.
          Some natures ripen and some natures bloom
         Only on blood-wet soil, some prove great
         Only in moments dark with death or doom.

  God finds His best soldiers on the mountain of affliction.