Car Title Problems

Back in 1999, when I was living in Houston, and working in New Caney ISD, I wanted a new car. In October, my dad picked up a car and my loan papers, and drove to TN to meet me. My parents and I exchanged cars. I paid sales tax. Within the month, I got what I needed so I could go and register my car in TX and get license plates. I didn't need to pay sales tax, so that was refunded back to me.

Spring forward three years to 2002, I bought a car, and traded in my other car. I wasn't charged sales tax. Spring forward five more years to the present. My tags expired at the end of last month. We found out what I needed to do. But, I wasn't given all of the info. My dad did e-check, and got my sales paper from the dealer and did something else there for my car. I went to the title bureau, got the memorandum title, and could only get the 30 day tags. My car was paid off this month and received my title.

I went down to the Title bureau this morning, to have my address changed on my title. (I was told I had to do that last month in order to get new license plates.) An old TX address is on my title. The only way they would do it, is if I could show proof that I had pay sales tax on my car. I can't show proof, because I didn't'. The only good thing, is that I am going to pay the sales tax from 2002 not what it is now. The 2002 sales tax is 5.75%. It is higher now. Now I have to go back with the money for the sales tax, then they will change my address, so I can go across the hall and get my license plates. Such frustration.

Here is another piece of frustrating news, I was turned down for disability, because the department is under suspension. Why tell people to apply for disability when they know it is under suspension and nobody will be okayed. I need to call them and ask them this question. I need it to help me get medicare. About 3 weeks ago, I went to apply for SS, and was turned down, because when asked if I had a 401K, I said no, but did have a 403B. I now have to close that out so I can reapply for SS. I can't have more than $2,000 in savings. They don't want you to have savings for retirement, but you aren't' supposed to rely on SS for retirement. They just don't' make sense.

Giants

"Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword, a spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted.'" I Samuel 17:45 (NASB)

Imagine you were a member of the Israelite army the day young David arrived to take on the Philistine giant. You would have considered David a fool to take on this menacing monster with no armor and only a slingshot for a weapon. No doubt the fight would be a short one!

David wasn't as naive as everyone thought. Nor was he blind. he could see Goliath towering over all the other soldiers. Even from a distance, he noticed his enemy's enormous weapons-his sow rd, his spear, and h is javelin. He saw how huge the giant's shield was. Yet David could see other things that the rest of the crowd missed. He could see God's strength, which was far superior to any giant or his weapons. It's interesting that even David may have underestimated how quickly God would give him victory. He took five stones with him to hurl at Goliath; God needed only one.

For you,a giant is anything you are facing that seems beyond your power to handle. It may be a tuition payment, an illness, or a broken relationship you need to mend. What giant you facing right now? Does it seem enormous? Unbeatable? Don't underestimate how powerful your God is! If you will trust him, as David did, you'll see that God is more powerful than any giant you'll ever face.

This was yesterday's devotion in The Experience. It is a devotional and journal. It is written by Henry Blackaby and Richard Blackaby. Blackaby wrote Experiencing God. I have two devotional books by Blackaby. I love them both. They are two of my favorite books. One, I have been using since October 2000. My other favorite devotional book author is Vicki Caruana. Carauna writes devotions for teachers.

Nothing is Wasted

Read: Mark 2:30-44

"They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish." Mark 6:42-43

In Mark 6 we read the heart-warming story of how Jesus took the loaves, broke them, multiplied the fish, and gave everybody lots to eat with lots left over. They gathered baskets full of leftover bread so nothing would be thrown away.

I think about that story when I watch a Christian go through tough times yet hang on to God's grade. Maybe you're such a person. Day-to-day heartache is your routine, and problems seem to have a permanent place in God's plan for your. What god is doing with you is like what he did with the barley loaves and fish. Jesus broke the bread. And out of the broken loaves of bread, he multiplied the blessing so thousands would be nourished. Yes, it hurts to be broken. But sometimes that's part of God's plan, especially if he wants you feed others. Out of your brokenness, the blessing can be bestowed on more people than you ever dreamed possible-and your can be certain nothing will be wasted. God will gather up and use all the hurt; not a bit of it will be discarded our cast aside.

Joni Eareckson Tada

Path to Prayer
Bread of Life, Lord of all, I pray that you take the hurt and the brokenness of my life and multiply it as you multiplied the loaves and fish. My suffering will be easier for me to bear if I know that you have used me to feed others and heal them. Thank you for blessing me and blessing others through me.

The above is today's devotional from the following book: 365 Days of Hope Encouragement for those facing loss, pain, and disappointment The authors of this book are as follows: Joni Eareckson Tada, Dave & Jan Dravecky.

My Decision

Saw a Melanoma Doctor up at Cleveland Hospitals this afternoon. He agrees that I should do the recommended treatment. So, I am. I am going to have more surgery. I will be having the lymph node disection. I should hopefully find out next week when. Mom and I are going to go a certain pharmacy tomorrow, so I can be measured for a pressurized stocking. I will have to wear this stocking for the rest of my life. I will have problems with swelling for the rest of my life.

I also want to have a port implanted into me as well. I am going to call Dr. Patel's office tomorrow, to ask about a general surgeon to see about him putting into me. I would prefer it to be done the same time, the lymph node disection is going on, so that I won't have to heal from two separate surgeries.

Once the lymph nodes are taken out, then they will be tested for cancer. If they come back positive, then I would be at Stage 3b, instead of Stage 3a. I might even have to do radiation or something like that before doing immunotherapy.

Another thing found either on the scans or from pathology were granulomas. That has something to do with Sarcoid. I will have to see a pulmonary doctor next year about that. If I have Sarcoid, that would explain the cough I have had since I was a kid. The immunotherapy can cause havic on the sarcoid, and if that would become worse, then the immunotherapy would be stopped.

As of right now, I have a 30% chance of a new case of melanoma within the next three years. If there is cancer in my other lymph nodes, then that percentage goes up.

I was told that there was at least two pockets of microscopic cancer in the lymph node that was taken out in June. My melanoma was ulcerated, because it was bleeding off and on since January of this year. Dr. Burns removed 3.25 mm of the melanoma tumor in May. Another 1.2 mm was removed back in June.

I am also going to have to start seeing a dermatologist, and will be seeing this person for the rest of my life.

How do I feel about this? I can't really say. I have been feeling a little detached from this all. I'm glad the decision has been made. I appreciate how this doctor really explained things to us. I am praying that God will use all that I am going through to feed somebody else.

Another Job Interview

I was supposed to have a job interview this morning, but it has been postponed to Monday morning, because they had no electricity from yesterday's storms. (I had posted my resume online with something dealing with the state of OH sometime this summer.) This job opening is for a math tutoring position. I think that would be pretty flexible, for doing treatments and stuff. I will find out more info on Monday. This job is in Sterling, OH. Sterling is located in Wayne County, out on Rt 3.

I didn't get the job in Elyria, OH. I so okay with not getting that one. That wouldv'e been way too much.

I will post more about the job on Monday.

Getting a Second Opinion

My onc, suggested I get in touch with four other places to help in my research on clinical trials. I left messages last Friday. One place called me back on Friday. The others called me back yesterday.

I have scheduled an appointment for next week, on the 15th. I am going up to University Hospitals in Cleveland. My goal from this is to get some help in making my decision in what treatment to choose. I do have a few clinical trials printed up.

These doctors have better understanding in all of the treatments, and know what might be best for someone of my age, with my stage, and where exactly the melanoma was. He might even have at idea of which clinical trial might be good for me or not.

I am still not sure how this will effect in me trying to work this fall. I interviewed for a teaching position up in Elyria, this morning. This school is over 80 miles round trip. I didn't tell the principal about having melanoma. I didn't want the cancer to be the reason I don't get. If I am offered the job, then I will tell her, and then it might be recinded. Who knows. I could be wrong in not telling her up front. I don't know.

Every day, I ask the Lord for wisdom in this, and to show me what he wants me to do.

A Daunting Task

I spent a lot of time on the computer yesterday. I was looking at the following website: www.clinicaltrials.gov. I was looking at different trials. This is a daunting task I have before me, searching for the treatment that is right for me. I called and left messages for somebody at Cleveland Clinic, University Hosptials, Ohio State University Medical Center, and University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. Somebody from OSU called me back. He sent me an email of four different trials. There is one trial going on at OSU that is also at Akron General Medical Center. General is close to me. One requirement for that trial is to have a lymph node disection.

I don't understand everything I read. I don't understand everything I read on the MPIP website I look at everyday. How do I know if a trial is good for me or not? The majority of them are for people with mestatic melanoma. That I don't have. There are 225 clinical trials listed on the above website. Jsut thinking about this, is making me down this afternoon. I did print up some yesterday, but I just don't know. I would rather stay here, but I am willing to travel up to 3 hours away at the most. If I do travel, I would probably have to stay there for awhile. Is that a good thing?

Lord, which treatment do you want to do? Who do I talk to, to help me? I am basically on my own in this search. I do know, that once I have a few options, then I want to go and talk to my oncologist about them. Do I choose one with the possibility of taking many different kinds of drugs? What about the vaccine trial. Could I find one, where they pay for the drugs? Lord, where am I going to find the money to pay for this? What about the side effects? Complications? There are so many questions to ask. I know there are questions, that I haven't even thought of. Lord, please provide me with some help. I don't want to become too overwhelm. I know I need to make a decision soon. The sooner I start the treatment the better. I need some help, Lord. Thank you for listening Lord.

PET Scan Results

Good News! Good News! Good News! Good News! Good News! Father, thank you for the good news. According James 1:5, I am asking for wisdom in what to do next.

Can you tell how happy I am? The PET Scan came back negative. The Melanoma hasn't spread! God is good. Even if the melanoma had spread, God would still be good.

I have lost some weight this past week. I went a whole week without any Pepsi. That is right, I didn't drink any pop. I will have some today. Last week, the scale at Dr. Patel's office said 297 lbs, this week it said 272 lbs. I came home and used my parent's scale and that one said 295.8 lbs. My parents is a digital one. We all know what the doctor's office is one like. Which one do I believe? My mom said she has noticed how my stomach hasn't gotten flatter, that is due to doing situps in the morning. I have digressed.

What is the recommended treatment for someone at stage 3a of melanoma? It is first lymph node disection. That is having more lymph nodes taken out. The side effects to that is not pretty. Lymphodema, swelling, wounds not healing very fast. Wearing a pressurized stocking to help with the swelling. I really don't want to have the surgery. The next step is immunotherapy. This treatment lasts one year. The first month is IV M-F for four weeks, then the next 12 months, an injection three times a week, done at home. The first month, would be either at the hospital or the doctor's office. There are side effects, flu-like symptoms, fever, feeling achy all over, depression or that gets worse. Those are the major side effects. Everybody is effect differently.

I will do some type of treatment. With being 36, it is better to fight it, because if it comes back and spreads, then it is it incurable. There is a chance of recurrences in the first 1-2 years. Dr. Patel did tell me to do some research on clinical trials and see if I qualify. He gave me a website and told me which three areas to call and see what they have. I have to let him know what I am going to do.

If I decide to do the immunotherapy, and because of my veins being very deep and hard to get to, a port would be surgically implanted for the IV part of the treatment. I have asked if that could be done at the same time as the lymph node disection, so I would only have to have one surgery, instead of two. The hole on my right leg has to continue to heal, basically completely close up before the treatment can be started. Treatment probably will not start until sometime in September.

I pray that the Lord will show me what to do. What is best for me. I am praying for wisdom.

Good News

I had an appointment this morning with the surgeon (actually, the resident). I do not have to wear any more dressings on my right leg over the hole,unless I want to. He said, that it looks good and is healing nicely. He also said, to keep up with I have been doing. I will wear a dressing at night, since it is still draining, I don't want to get anything onto my sheets. Mom still has to wash the hole at night and again in the morning, and I had to buy some lotion to put on there as well.

The resident was ready to schedule my surgery for the removal of more lymph nodes in my groin area. I told me that the cancer doctor wasn't quite sure yet if that is going to happen or not. I will find out more on Friday. Went to PT today and will go back again next Wednesday morning.

Went and got 30 day tags for my car. Time to say bye-bye to my TX license plates. In a month, I will go back to OH plates. If I want to change my driver's license from TX to OH, I have to take the written test. I am not planning on doing that anytime soon. My driver's license doesn't expire for 4 more years. I will wait and see what happens in the next year.

PET Scan

This afternoon, I had my P.E.T. Scan. I went back around 1 pm. It took the guy two tries to get the IV started. First, he tried my right wrist. That one hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My vein wouldn't cooperate, and he had to take the needle out. Next, he tried my left arm at the elbow, and my vein cooperated. My veins are down deep and they are small. I drank fluids, mostly water, to prepare for the test. After the radioactive glucose was injected, I had to sit quietly for about an hour.

After the hour was up, I was taken to the room for the test. I had to lay flat on my back. It lasted about 2 hours. The only thing I was allowed to move were my arms. My arms were not allowed to go into the machine. It was 6 different 10 minutes of pictures being taken, from the base of my skull to my mid thighs. Then a group of 3 minutes each of pictures taken of my legs. It was very boring. I will more of these to come in the future.

I will find out the results on Friday, when to see the cancer doctor. On a funny note, I put the peatnutbutter into the fridge this morning. As soon as I realize what I did, I took it out. At supper, my dad tried to tell me that I left the peanutbutter in the fridge. He basically had me.

Musings

This morning, I was writing in my diary, while listening to "Down Gilead Lane" on WCRF. This thought came to my mind. I needed to apologize to God. When the doctor told me yesterday, that there were a couple of suspicious spots he saw on the CT Scan, that is what I only focused on. I forgot, and should've focused on that over 95% of the scans were clear. I apologized to God, and have told a few people that also. I am very thankful, that there were only a couple of suspicious spots. Thank you Father. You are an awesome God. Focusing on the bad parts is not good. I need to focus on the good. You know what is best, and what is going on, even though, I don't completely understand. I ask that you open my eyes, so that I can see all of this through your eyes, and not through my sinful, human eyes. I love you very much. I am thankful that you are in charge and you are my Abba.

CT Scan Results

I saw the cancer doctor this morning. He saw three things on the films. I have sinuses inflamed on the right side, a 3mm nodule in the upper lobe of my left lung, and a lymph node in the chest area. They are too small for a biospy to be done. On Monday afternoon, I will have a PET Scan done. I have to be there at 12:30 pm for registration, 1 pm, the prep starts and lasts an hour, and the actual test lasts an hour. I will have an IV inserted for them to inject stuff into me.

Next Friday, I will find out the results of this test. I will find out what treatment I will have, what stage I am at, and if I have to have more lymph nodes removed or not.

I have already been told what to expect if I have to have more lymph nodes removed. I will be measured for a stocking in advance, that will have to be worn. The surgery will require an overnight stay at the hospital. There could be swelling in my leg, especially the thigh area. (That is not good, and I am already big there.) Also any wounds I recieve to the leg, will be slow in healing or might not heal at all.

I am sad and disappointed. God did answer my prayer, just not to my liking. I have thanked him for answering my prayer. I asked for the scan to come back negative, that the cancer hasn't spread. I don't understand why for this interuption into my life to have cancer right now. Later in my life, I will understand. I wouldn't say that getting cancer is the best for me, but God does say. God knows what he is doing. I have to trust him, but that is a little hard. I do want God to be glorified through this.

Also on Monday, I am going to try to start the process in applying for Medicaid/Medicare. I have to take certain papers with me, and it requires waiting. I will only have the morning to wait, that is it. I pray that I will have everything with me on Monday, and that I will be able to start the process. I have to have something to pay for my medical costs. I am hoping to sub this coming school year, but I don't know how often I will be called and able to sub. Plus, I found out the cost of the PET Scan for Monday, $6,000-$8,000. I do not have that kind of money.

Father, please carry my burdens. You know what I need. Please provide for me.

Getting Smaller

I noticed tonight that the hole on my back leg (where the melanoma was removed) is getting smaller. But, at night, my mom, notices that the top part of the hole is swollen and puffy. It is because I am on my leg during the day. No matter, how much time I do sit with it up, it still is swollen. In the morning, the swelling is down. It has been one month since I had my surgery.

I am nervous about tomorrow. I printed up some things tonight about a clinical trial, and a couple of other treatments for melanoma. One printout has questions to ask about clinical trials.

This morning, I saw 3 deer. Two were fawns, and one was the mama deer. I thanked the Lord for allowing to see the deer.

Joke

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Pain Cause*
A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then prepared a bowl of soup.

Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner. The pastor began to feel bad. Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 36 years old today. And, no, I do not look it.

I had to be up early (6:30) to do some excerises before going downstairs to do my deovotions. I recieved a text message at 6:45 wishing me a happy birthday. I recieved two birthday cards this morning. Mom and I left around 8:15 to go into town. I had an 8:45 am doctor's appointment with the surgeon. I saw a different resident than the last two times. She took out a staple that wasn't taken out earlier this month. A nurse took a pic of my leg. They talked about measuring me for a stocking, which would be worn if I have to have more lymph nodes taken out. (I will know more about that come Friday.) I left there around 10:15. Mom took me back to APS. We left there close to 12:30 pm. Met my sis at Wendy's for lunch. She gave me two cards, one from my niece and one from her. Her card reminded me that she will always be younger than me.

Came home. While I was reading the newspaper, my best friend called to wish me a happy birthday. I am going out to CiCi's Pizza tomorrow with my cousin and my grandma for lunch.

Morton Family Reunion

Last night we had over 30 people at my house. We had a family reunion from my mom's side. For the first time in 17 years the three sister-in-laws were together. The three Morton brothers have all passed away. The third one died two months ago. There were people here last night, that I had never met. It was nice. As usual, I took a bunch of pictures. My sis let me borrow her camera, since all of my batteries were dead.

CT Scan

I got up at 5:20 this morning to go downstairs to take the second dose of the "goop". I drank a class of orange juice and a glass of ice water along with that dose. Then I went back to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. My third dose I drank on the way the place. My doctor forgot to sign the order yesterday, so they had to call him, and do some faxing to get it signed.

I went into the room with the machine and had to drink another, but much smaller dose of that "goop". I kept all four doses down. That is a God thing for that to happen. Plus they had to insert an iv to inject more stuff. They tried both arms, and found a vein at the base of my left arm, above the thumb. I drank water yesterday, but not enough. My veins are down deep and are hard to find.

She took pictures from my head down to my pelvic area. At one time, she injected the stuff and took pics. This was called a CT Scan with contrast. I will find out the results next Friday, when I go see Dr. Patel. I am praying that the scan comes back negative. I am praying that the melanoma hasn't spread anywhere else.

One down and two to go

Tomorrow morning I have a CT Scan with contrast. I have to drink this goop. I have to drink at three different times. I just finished the first portion. I was able to eat. I washed a bowl of cherries, and had a glass of water. I'd drink a bit of that stuff, water, ate a couple of cherries, water, etc. Now I am eating a granola bar. This stuff does have a sweet smell to it. I had to drink 10 oz of it. I did start to gag part way through it, but I have been able to keep it down.

The next dose is at 5:30 am. I will have both a glass of water and orange juice. No food. Then I finish it at 8:30 am. I can't have anything then. I did pray before drinking it and aksed God to help me keep this down and not gag. I hope to be okay at 5:30 am, but the last dose will be the hardest one of them all. I pray that I will be able to drink it and keep it down.

Seeing the Cancer Doctor

M&D and I saw the cancer doctor this morning. It means a lot to me in having both of them there. I am going to have a CAT Scan tomorrow, to see if the cancer has spread. Hopefully it will look good and no need to have a PET Scan. I have to drink this goop tonight and tomorrow morning. I am praying that I will be able to keep it down and not throw it back up. I have to have blood work done as well. This will determine exactly what treatment I will have.

The doctor's plan is to do the immunotherapy or a clinical trial of something. Looking at no chemo. I am happy about that. No loosing my hair. I know it is vain, but I like my long hair. I was told the immunotheraphy will rev up my immune system. The side effects will be fever, chills, and flu-like syptoms. I will still be able to Sub this fall when I feel up to it. The immunotherapy lasts a year. I will be IV's M-F for so many weeks, then injections three times a week.

With the info the doctor has, he says I am at Stage 3A, because a lymph node was removed. There are 5 stages in melanoma, from stage 0-4.

I am disappointed. I wanted to teach full-time this fall. I still don't understand. God has great plans out there for me. I want him to be glorified throughout all of this. Here is a thought, I haven't shared with anybody before, I'm still single, will I stay single, because of having cancer? Because of having cancer, will I be a liablity in getting a full-time teaching position next year? Why God? Why now? How does this fit into your plan? Are you trying to teach me something?

Next week, I will go to PT (physical therapy) and see both doctors.

Infection

When I saw the doctor last week, he said to call the office if the right corner was getting red. Mom made a comment Saturday night, while chaning the dressing, that my leg was red. It was redder yesterday afternoon, when she changed it. She changed it again this morning before going to work. She said it was really red, a little warm, and there was a smell. I called the doctor's office and he agreed to see me at 4:30 pm in between surgries. Turns out I have a small infection in my leg. Now mom, has to actually put some soap in the hole when I shower, use distill water on gauze pads in the hole before putting on a new dressing.

It was God, that I was able to get into to see him this afternoon. If I had to wait, it would've gotten worse. I was also given a prescription for an antibotic to take.

Frog in Toilet

Yesterday morning, I went upstairs to my room to get ready for church. I walked into my bathroom and over to the toilet. The pic above shows what I found in my toilet yesterday morning. That is right, I found a green frog inside my toilet. My dad took the pic before taking it out.

This and That

I saw the surgeon yesterday. The right corner of the skin transplant still hasn't taken yet. My mom says the hole looks ugly. I haven't looked inside the hole, it is kinda hard to do so. I can see that there is a hole.

I haven't used the cane at all today. I need to start sleeping in my bed soon. I haven't started driving yet, and actually dont' need to. I am going to let my leg heal more before I try to drive.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the grocery store with mom and grandma. Saturday, get to go to a craft show.

A school district in SC called earlier this afternoon, and they are going to try to set up a phone interview.

I read a really good book this week by Lisa Whelchel. She played "Blair" on The Facts of Life. She wrote kinda like an autobriography, but different lessons God taught her throughout her life. She then applied these lessons to us, by asking questions. She had scripture throughout the whole book. It was something I needed to read.

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News from the doctor

I had my surgery on Tuesday, June 26. It was scheduled as an outpatient surgery. It was decided Tuesday night, that I would be admitted to the hospital until Friday. Friday, 29th was the day to have my dressings changed. We had fun getting me into the house Friday afternoon. I couldn't put any weight on my leg. I had to use a walker with wheels and hop. One lymph node was taken out. My mom has had to change the dressing on my leg and she says it looks ugly. My right leg hurts at times and my left leg burns, stings, hurts. The skin transplant came from my left thigh.

Went to the doctor this morning to have my right leg looked at. No more splint!!!!! I can now put weight on my right leg!!!!!!!!! Both yeahs!!!!!!!! Now after the good news, comes the bad news. That is right, bad news. The lymph node that was taken out is cancerous. I will be seeing an oncologist (cancer specialist). I will know more about course of action after seeing him.

This means I am not moving to AZ next month. I will just sub. I dont' understand why. I dont' understand why God opened one door and then turned around and closed that same door. It doesn't make any sense to me.

Wonderful Weekend in TX

I left early Thursday morning for TX. My plane was scheduled to leave at 5:55 am. I flew out of Hopkins, but normally fly out of CAK. I told dad that we couldn't cut it close, but guess what, we did. I arrived at the airport at 5:05 am. Guess what! There was a line at the American Airlines ticket counter at 5 am. I wasn't expecting that. I had to end up cutting in line, so I could check my bag, and get my boarding pass. There was even a line at security. I made it ontime to my gate, and the plane took off on time. Usually, when I fly, I have some kind of delay. This time, no delay.

Arrive at DFW around 7:30 am, and got to my destination in Garland around 9:30 am. I took about a 2 hour nap, did my devotions and got ready for the bridesmaid luncheon. I was not bridesmaid, but I was able to go. Left with K from the luncheon, went to a Verizon Plus store and got my new cell phone. It is so cool, I keep playing with it. We went to Biblestudy that evening.

Friday, went to lunch with L at Gengris Grill. She dropped me off at the church where they were still decorating the autruim for the reception. Went back to Garland to get ready for rehersal and dinner. I took pics during rehersal. We ate at Humperdinks, and left there with K, because I spent the rest of the weekend at her house. Stayed up late with S, talked to here while she finished packing for her honeymoon.

Yesterday, we did some errands. We bought some stuff for decorating the car. White shoe polish, confetti, car flag, leis, and water guns. We made a mess of the car. I have taken over 100 pics this weekend. I took pics before the wedding.

S, was a gorgeous bride. Beautiful wedding. I had tears at different times. After the message, I went up to read I John 4:7-12. After the vows and exchaning of the rings, they walked over to do unity sand, instead of the unity candle. W sang a song during that time. A sring quartet was the music.

I took pics at the reception. I saw a few people that I hadn't seen in a few months to a year ago. I took pics of the cakes, friends, drinking the punch, St getting the garter belt and throwing it. I didn't get any pics of them cutting the cake. I wanted pics of that. I also didn't get to eat any cake.

The Lord blessed S and St by bringing them together. Yesterday was also my parent's 40th wedding anniversary.

This morning went to church and got to hear the pastor preach. I have missed
The Heights so much these past four months. It was so good to hear the pastor preach. I so enjoy hearing him preach.

I leave tomorrow morning to head back home to OH. Tuesday, is my surgery day.

Still Applying

I have applied to two more school districts since last Friday. My parents went to three graduation open houses on Saturday. My dad called from the third one telling me to apply to Greenville, SC. Later that evening, I applied to the state of South Carolina. I emailed a few principals from Greenville that evening also.

This morning, I filled out and faxed an application to Casa Grande Elementary School District in Casa Grande, AZ. This morning, I recieved a phone call from a principal in Marion, SC. Marion is a small town close to Myrtle Beach. This prinicpal has an opening for sixth grade at a middle school. He is putting out feelers and wanted to know if I would be interested. He said that he would turn in my name to Human Resources, and they would contact me for a screening interview. He would like for me to travel down there to see the area, check out the school. I told him, that I can't come down until after July 2. I am assuming, that the cast will come off around that time. The cast is from the surgery I will have next week.

This application I filled out Saturday evening, is for the whole state of SC. One application for all of the school districts. All states needs that.

Disappointment

I made my decision about the job offers from Yuma, AZ. Before I went out this morning, I recieved a phone call, saying that the 6th grade position was filled. When I came home, I called Yuma, and said that I was interested in accepting the 8th grade position at Castledome Middle School. I was told that she interviewed somebody yesterday, and was waiting for a phonecall by somebody at 3pm (PST) today. Then they would make their decision on Monday. I called the other school and found out that the AP was out. I am now waiting for him to call me back. I was told to accept the other job if I wanted to. The first phone call I made was the one I was leaning towards.

I had the right to think and pray about this. I didn't just want to make my decision half-heartedly. I needed to know this is what I was supposed to do. I prayed, I thought about it, and I talked about it. I looked up some verses in the Bible about making decisions.

Mom said that God would be honored because I prayed about it. I have prayed about my disappointment and have given it over to him. I have had quite a few people praying for me. The Lord's will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven. God has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. (Jeremiah 29:11) I am going to leave this in God's hands. What he wants, he will allow to happen. The Lord knows I want to be teaching somewhere.

Moving to Yuma, AZ

In about six weeks, I will be moving to Yuma, AZ. With 5 phone interviews and 3 job offers, it really seemed to be the Lord is leading me to AZ. Mom would rather have me stay here in OH. I told the Lord, I didn't want to be a Gideon (Judges 6). Where Gideon, doubted (didnt' have faith), asked God to leave the fleece dry and the ground wet. God did exactly that. The next morning, Gideon, wanted the fleece wet and the ground dry. God did exactly that again. Then Gideon believed that God was calling him to lead the Israelite army. I was just asking for comfirmation that God was leading me to AZ.

Now, I am deciding between the three job offers. One is to teach self-cotained sixth grade. The other two, for teaching 8th grade science. One of those positions, the following year, I would teach 7th grade science, then move with the same kids up to 8th grade. I like that idea. There is one I am leading towards.

Once I know what my salary would be then I will know if I can rent a furnished or an unfurnished apartment. M&D are not going with me in moving to AZ. Everthing I take will have to fit in my car. I have been praying.

I call Yuma, AZ tomorrow afternoon to give them my decision.

The states I have been to

I was reading Robin Lee Hatcher's blog, and in a post, she had this map showing which states she has visited. I liked and made one of my own. The states in red show where I have been to. I like it. Click on the link below to make your own map.


create your own personalized map of the USA

Decisions

This afternoon, I was offered a teaching position in Yuma, AZ. The position is to teach 8th grade science. I asked if I could have a few days to think and pray about it. I said I would like to say yes, but I need to know for sure if this is something to do. I have to let them know this Friday. I won't know until then what my salary would be. I would have to be down there by August 8, when new teachers start.

It looks like the Lord has opened the door. Is this what the Lord wants, or what I want? I am happy. This would be a good challenge for me. I love teaching science. Lord, I need wisdom in knowing what to do.

If you click on the link below, you will see a map as to where Yuma, AZ is located.
http://travel.yahoo.com/p-map-473991-map_of_yuma_az-i

Yuma, AZ

I first met with somebody from Yuma, AZ back in March at the Akron U teacher job fair. Last week, an AP from a middle school called while I was at Biblestudy. We talked for a bit of time. The next night, after supper, I filled out the application and faxed it to the Human Resources department and called this lady back.

This afternoon, two principals called me from two different middle schools. I have a phone interview this evening at 6 pm and another one Monday afternoon at 1 pm.

Yuma is located on the border of AZ and CA. Yuma is 3 hours away from Phoenix and 2 1/2 hours away from San Diego, CA. One would have to drive to either one of those cities to fly out, because the Yuma airport is small and makes tickets expensive.

My mom does not want me to move to AZ. I think that is about a 4 day drive, compare to a 2 day drive to Dallas, TX. Mom is saying that she is answering for God by saying that I can't go. I say whatever God wants will happen.

Today, I filled out an online application for the system of OH, that other principals will see.

Sports

We are two months into the baseball season. The Cleveland Indians have the best home record of all of baseball. They have only lost 6 games at home this season. What is their record? 34-21 What is their home record? 19-6 More good news, the Indians are in first place in the Central Division. They are 2 1/2 games ahead of the Detroit Tigers. I really do hope they can keep this up. They do need to work on pitching. They have three, count it, three really bad pitchers, one starting and two in the bull pen. They need to go!

The Cleveland Cavs are in the NBA Finals! This is a first for the team. They have been a team since 1970. This is the first time they have made it to the Eastern Conference Finals. They were good 15 years ago, when we had Mark Price, Craig Ehlo, Nance, and Danny Ferry. Back then, Michael Jordan was playing, and he basically stopped the Cavs from going too far in the playoffs. We now hav LeBron James and a few other good players. They start playing the San Antonio Spurs. Go Cavs! Beat the Spurs!

Sugery has been set

Tuesday, June 26, I will have a biopsy at 8 am, and the actual surgery at 10 am. I will have to go in for some pre-surgery testing on the 13th.

At first, the tentative date was for the 12th, but the biopsy and the surgery couldn't been on the same date, and the doctor wants me to have the biopsy first.

We had it moved back a week from the 19th to the 26th, because, I am leaving the 21st to go down to TX for the weekend. (Yeah!!!!!!!!!)

I am so looking forward to my visit to TX later this month.

8 I AMs

This comes from the book of John. There are eight times, where Jesus says, " I Am..." After each statement, in parenthises will be the chapter and verse the statement is found.

1. I am the Bread of Life (6:35)
2. I am the Light of the world (8:12)
3. I am the gate for the sheep (10:7)
4. I am the Good Shepherd (10:11)
5. I am the Resurrection and the Life (11:25)
6. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life (14:6)
7. I am the true vine (15:1)
8. Therefore, I tell you the truth, before Abraham was born, I AM (8:58)

If you notice, for 1-7, after the "I am" there is the word "the". Jesus is the only one of each of those statements.

Uncertain Future

No official surgery date, only a tentive one. The tentive date is Tuesday, June 12. Susposedly I will find out the complete details next Wednesday, when the doctor goes back into the office and the nurse who does the scheduling can talk to him, and finalize everything.

I can't start preparing for the sugery until I know when it is. I need to mentally prepare myself.

It talks in Proverbs about making plans. I've been making plans to go to FL, NC, and VA to check out school districts, try to get interviews. Because of being diagnosed with melanoma, I've had to scratch my plans, and make new plans. Guess what, they are not being scratched. Okay, Lord, what are you trying to tell me. Is the Lord closing doors? Does He want me to teach or do something else? Where does the Lord want me to live and work? Right now, it is in OH? I've put my life on old for now, which I don't like. I guess I need to quit making plans. Lord, I still want to go to Jamestown, VA this summer. Please let that be possible.

Deaths in the family

In the past two weeks, there have been two deaths in the family. First, my grandmother's niece, her brother's daughter, died of cancer. She was in her fifties. My great-uncle died Monday of a heart attack. My uncle was my grandmother's brother-in-law, my late grandfather's brother. Going to calling hours tomorrow night. If I am not called to sub on Friday, I will go to the funeral on Friday morning.

What did the doctor say?

I saw the plastic surgeon today. My appointment was for 10:15 am, I didn't get in to see him until around noon or slightly before. I will be having surgery in two weeks. (It is not next week, because they are out of the office next week.) The doctor will be injecting radioactive dye into area will the melanoma is on my right calf. They will use this dye to see where the melanoma is draining to. They want to see if it goes to the lymph nodes in my groin area. They want to see if there is any cancer in my lymph nodes. The results of that test will take about a week.

Also in surgery, the doctor will make 2 cm incisions on both sides of the melanoma to take it out of my leg. Then a skin graft from my thigh will be made to cover the hole they make. I will be in a cast for about 4-5 days, because I will not be able to move my leg. The surgery will be out-patient and take about 3 hours.

This means mom and I will not be going down to FL that week so I could attend a job fair and go check out other school districts in FL and NC. Mom said we might go a couple of weeks later into June. I hope this will not stop me from going to TX later in June for SV's wedding.

Mom and I both know that God has a plan and his reasoning for all of this to be happening. We just don't see it. I think and pray about this, but so far, it hasn't compeltely settled in. It probably won't until after the surgery and I know more.

Anxiety and Fear

Tomorrow is D-day. I try not to think too much about tomorrow. My parents and my great-aunt and uncle (even though I never use aunt and uncle before their names) will be at my doctor's appointment in the morning. I will be seeing a retired plastic surgeon (from what I have been told). What will he do? What will he say? Has it really been caught early? I had that thing since September of last year. When you think too much about something, it can start to controll you, and I do not want to be controll about the unknown about tomorrow. I talk to the Lord about this. I am a little worried and scared.

I keep telling myself, that I need to go down to the basement and look for my angel doll I packed away back in February. I have so many people praying for me, of which I am very thankful and grateful for. I want the Lord to be glorified through this whole thing. As I said before, He has a reason for this.

After tomorrow, I will know exactly what kind of cancer it is. Where it is seems strange to me. True, I am blonde hair, blue-eyed, very fair skinned person who burns. I do not lay out, laying on my stomach. When I do sit outside, I might or might not use sunscreen, but I sit or I am in the water. The back of my legs don't see the sun.

I want to ask why, but exactly what good will it do? It still is kinda shocking to know that I have cancer. All I can still say, "Father, your will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven."

Cancer

Cancer is something you wished you never have to hear. I found a brown spot on the back of my right leg last September. Since I do not have health insurance I didn't do anything about it. Since January, it has bled off and on. I went to the doctor last Thursday afternoon to see the doctor. He took it off, and sent it to pathology to have it tested. He called this morning with the results. Came back cancerous. I have cancer. I will say it again. I have cancer. It is probably just skin cancer, but still the same cancer.

Next Wednesday morning, I have an appointment at 10:15 am (EST) with a specialist. Both of my parents will be there. Because of work, my sissy can't be there. She gets to tell my niece. How do I tell my handicap brother? How much will he understand? I haven't see him in almost three weeks. Business of life and then I was sick with a bad head cold.

The Lord has his reasons for things. Mom said he knew by me coming home, I would have my family support through this. It is very shocking to hear the words. Hold me in your arms, Father. Use me to bring glory to your name. I am going to need to feel your prescence during this time.

How is things going to affect looking for a new job? How is this going to affect getting health insurance again, after I get a job. How much will this cost me? How will I pay for this? Please do not let this drive me nuts Father Lord. Lord, you know how I have been trying to lean on you in the past month. How I have been trying to wait upon you. I do not know your plans or reasoning for this. All I can say, Your will be done here on Earth as it is in heaven. You are in charge, I am not.

Living Hope

This past Saturday, April 21, was the Living Hope conference for women at Parkside Church in Chagrin Falls, OH. I went with my mom and some ladies from her church. (Yes, I attend a different church than my parents do.) This conference was put on by Moody.

The speakers were Liz Curtis Higgs (Bad Girls of the Bible and The Very Bad Girsl of the Bible), Lisa Whelchel ("Blair" on Facts of Life), Jennifer Rothchild. Worship was with Alecia Williamson. The speakers were funny. I did take some notes. I am glad I went.

I bought Lisa's autobiography, and a 8x11 pic of her and had her sign it. I had Liz sign my ticket. I also had my pic taken with Lisa Whelchel.

EMU Teacher Job Fair

Tuesday, April 17, was the 20th annunal Teacher job fair at Eastern Michigan University. I went up to MI the afternoon before, after subbing. I spent a few hours with my best friend and her 3 sons. We hadn't seen each other since New Year's Eve 2005.

My first EMU job fair was in 1994, and that is when I first became interested in TX. I went back in 1995, and made my first two trips to TX that summer. Nothing came of those trips. I looked in OH and went to the Akron U job fair. I went back up to MI in 1998. I made a trip to MI at the end of May that year, and moved down to Houston that August.

This year, there were school districts from MI (duh!), MN, OR, CA, AZ, AK, KS, IL, IN, LA, TX, KY, OH, TN, NY, AL, MD, FL, GA, SC, NC, VA, MD, NY, and a couple of International recruiters. I visited recruiters from AZ, KS, VA, MD, FL, SC, and NC. I tell them all that I am interested in 4th or 5th, but I am flexible. FL, SC, VA, NC, and MD sounds interesting to me. A school district from MD gave me a letter of interest for ESOL. It is not a contract, but a letter saying that we are both interested in each other, and if I fulfill all the requirements, I will be offered a job. This district is just outside of D.C. Another district, this one from SC is also interested in me. I was told that they were interested in offering me a letter of intent. I said that I wanted to check out the website first. I sent them an email, saying I was interested in the letter of intent. Will see...

Trying to talk my mom into making a road trip to check out some different school districts and their areas. I am hoping to move to a different state later this summer. I have applications to fill out. I have to request more copies of my transcripts, which cost $, for these different school districts, because they will not accept copies. They want orginial copies sent to them.

I thanked the Lord on Tuesday for the interest I recieved from these different school districts. I have already been praying about Tuesday, and asking the Father for his will and not for mine. I am asking for him for his will about where I will work.

Sight and Sound Theatre

I went to Lancaster, PA for a couple of days this week. I went with my mom and three other ladies from her Thursday morning Bible study that meets here at the house. I went with them last time, June 2005. If you don't' already know, Lancaster is home to the Amish and Mennonites. Last time I was there, I found out how the Amish started.

The Amish broke away from the Mennonites. The Mennonites started by a Catholic Dutch Bishop in Switzerland in the mid 1500's. They believed in a complete separation of church and state. Both groups came over to PA in the 1700's. The Amish fascinate me, but I could never live like they do.

Sight and Sound has two theatres in Lancaster. It is a Christian theatre company. They put on four shows a year. Two in the spring and summer and two at Christmas. I have seen three shows so far: Ruth, Psalms of David, and In the Beginning. They are really good. They are all musicals. In the Beginning premiered March 30 of this year. They will be premiering a new Christmas show this year.

Sight and Sound is currently building a new theatre in Branson, MO to open next year. Their first show in Branson, will be Noah. If you ever have a chance you need to go and see one of their shows. Tickets can be pricey, but it is worth it.

We also saw a replica of the Tabernacle. This is located at the Mennonite Historical Society, there in Lancaster. Everything there is to the exact size that God said it should be. I took pictures and bought some postcards.

Playing baseball

The Indians and the Angels played their series at the Brewers field Tuesday through Thursday. The Indians won two of the games. In today's paper, it said in total amount of snow taken from the Indians field this past week was 33 inches.

The White Sox are in town for a three game series. The Sox won last night and the Indians won this afternoon. The Sox did get on base today, but nobody made it home, so we won our first shutout of the season. The Indians record is now 6-3, and we have only played 2 different teams.

We will have to make up the Seattle series by playing two different days of double-headers on the same off days. They have not yet decided which days they will be. They are thinking of the first one will be in June.

It is currently snowing.

Still no baseball

It is now Monday, and there is still no Cleveland Indians baseball games to watch. I am going through baseball withdrawl. My mom came home from work this afternoon, and first thing she told me was that today's double headers was cancelled. The Indians and the Mariners have been trying to play baseball since Friday and just can't play.

10 inches of snow has fallen at Jacob's Field. The groundscrew now has three more days to get the field ready for this weekend's series against the White Sox. Why three days you ask? The Angels and the Indians are moving their three game set to Milwakee to play. The Brewers have a retractable dome, and since they are not home this week, they agreed to let the Indians and the Angels to play there. This is only the second time since 1961, a series was moved to a different location due to weather.

The Indians and Seattle has to make up the four missed games. There are only 6 common off days between the two teams. I am upset that there is no baseball. I want to watch baseball!

Carrying Each Other's Burdens

Galations 6:2 (NIV) "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Have you ever thought where the above verse comes from? Besides God telling Paul to write it.

Yesterday, was Good Friday. My parent's church had communion service last night. The special music was "Watch the Lamb". I was listening to the words of the song, and picturing it in my head. You get to the part of the guy who was pulled from the crowd and told to carry Christ's cross. That guy was Simon of Cyrene. He carried the cross for Jesus to Golgotha. He carried his burden for him, just like it says to do in Galations 6:2. I never thought of it like that before. I thought it was a very interesting thought.

Home Opener Postponed

Yesterday, Good Friday, April 6, was Home Opener for the Cleveland Indians. It was postponed due to snow!

Woke up Thursday morning to snow. Woke up Good Friday to more snow. Festivities started 2 hours in advance yesterday. First pitch was scheduled for 4:05 pm. It was snowing. The grounds crew used leaf blowers to get rid the snow from the outfield. They even shoveled snow from the infield, after taking the tarp off. The start of the game was delayed by an hour.

They had two snow delays in the first inning alone. We arrived at church around 6:45, and they were only in the second inning. When we left church around 8 pm, they were in the top of the fifth inning, two outs, bases loaded, and the count at 1-2. The Indians were winning 4-0. We were one strike a way from winning the game, when another snow delay was called. Finally, around 8:45 pm, the game was called. Get this, just a few minutes later, the snow stopped! We could've won! The irony of it all.

The game was rescheduled for 1:05 pm today to play a day night double header. Around 10 am this morning, both games were postponed due to snow and cold temperatures. If you dont' know, Cleveland sits on the banks of Lake Erie, and we have a thing called Lake Effect Snow. Some areas received up to a foot of snow yesterday and Thursday night.

Now, the Indians have a double header tomorrow on Easter. They are also scheduled to play on Monday (already on the schedule.) This is the only time all season, that Seattle will be here. I wonder how we will make up any of these lost games.

What this all means, no baseball for me to watch or to listen to. I have been so looking forward to the start of baseball, that this is hard for me.

Ready for some Baseball

Today, was game two of the new baseball season. I have been so ready for baseball. The Indians have won both games!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! Monday, Grady Seizemore hit a homerun on the second ball thrown to him in the first inning of the game. They even batted around that inning. They also batted around today in an inning. Monday's final was 12-5, and today's final was 8-7. Today was one of their edge on your seat kind of game, where I yell and get all mad at them.

Westbrook walked the two guys before Thome. He knows better than doing that. Thome is good at hitting homeruns. You dont' even give him a chance to hit a homerun. He's a former Indian.

One good thing about being home, is that I can watch them every day on tv, compared to only when ESPN decided to air the game or when they played the Rangers.

So they are now 2-0. Good going guys. Keep it up.

Easy day

Today, was my first day of subbing in the Akron schools. I pulled out students and gave them some one on one teaching time. We did different worksheets and they read to me.

The last two days, I got up with my alarm at 5:30 to do my devotions and wait to see if I get called or not. I got called on Tuesday, but they called back around 8 am to cancell it. Tuesday was for a half day in the pm. I didn't get called yesterday. I didn't think I would get called today, so , I didn't go to bed until after 11 pm last night. Lo and behold, I did get called. My dad called me about a quarter after 6 this morning. I left about 7:30 to head to the school. School here is from 8 am til 2:30 pm.

I have made myself unavailable for tomorrow, since I am picking up my sis and niece from the airport very late tonight.

Subbing in OH

Yesterday, was Wednesday (some of you are thinking, and so...), after BSF, I dropped off three subbing applications at three different school districts. Norton, won't start till a month from now, because I have to wait until the next Board's monthly meeting to vote and agree for me to be a sub. Copley-Fairlawn and Akron. (For those of you who live in North TX, Akron is an equivelant to DISD.) The latter two, I will be able to start subbing with them next week. Akron, on Monday. Copley, after Monday night's Board meeting. Both of them I will be paid between $80-95 a day.

Copley only has 2-3 elementary schools, and they are close to where I live. Akron is different, but they are also going through a building phase. Let me share with you about this building phase. First, certain schools have been set for closure, for good, if they haven't yet closed. A number of schools are either being renovated or getting brand new buildings. While this is being done, either, they are staying put in their school building, or they are being shuttled off to some other school or building somewhere else in town.

I do not know how for sure when Copley will start calling me to sub. Akron has a phone system, and since it is not possible to have a phone in my bedroom, I have to teach my dad how to use the subfinder system so that he can accept jobs for me early in the morning. The system starts calling at 5:30 am. A good deal of the time, he is already up, so it won't be hard for him to answer the phone and write down the info I need. I am going to make sure my dad knows to only accept jobs between second and sixth grades.

First Job Fair of the Year

Today was the first Teacher Job Fair of the year. It was held at Akron U. I just got registered this week. People were able to sign up for interviews in advance and because of that, some districts had no openings today for interviews. There were 57 districts from 11 states.

There was a meet and greet from 9-9:45, where you talk to as many school districts as possible and try to get as many interviews as possible for the rest of the day. I was able to get three for before lunch and two for after lunch. After my fourth interview, I had an hour and half before my last one was scheduled. I sat/stood close to the person who was giving announcements during the day, and was able to get three more interviews. I ended up with a total of eight interviews for the day. I had four with in state districts and four from out of state districts. Two of my out of state districts I had already applied with. One in the fall and one last week.

One of the in state schools was a Catholic school from my hometown, and the principal seemed to like me.

My next teacher job fair is next month in MI, at the school I got my Bachelor's from. Will see what happens from today.

Job hunting in OH

My troubles haven't changed since I moved back home to OH. I still do not have a job. I changed my info on careerbuilder and monster. I look in the want ads of the paper, and so does my dad. I have gotten a few emails/cals from my resume being on careerbuilder and monster. I am checking into an agency in Canada that finds teachers to teach English in the different Asian countries.

I keep telling my parents that I can not teach here in OH, without my OH teaching certificate. I mailed in my application the week of February 5. I haven't received it yet. I have two applications for subbing, one coming in the mail, and I will pick up one next week, when I head back into downtown. I have to have a tb test, cost of $10. I have to be fingerprinted and have a background check done both by FBI and the state. The first one costs $40 and the second one around $15. Where is that money going to come from? I am hoping that what one district does will be accepted by the others.

I am registered for a teacher career fair next month up at EMU. I am trying to find out if I can go to Akron U's later this month. I have filled out so far, two applications for school districts in AZ. I am going to try to apply to as many school districts that will be at the fair up at EMU before hand. Each one takes time, and it gets boring sitting at the computer for hours.

Still can't understand why I couldn't find a job in TX. There are jobs in TX, so why couldn't I find one. Not completely sure what all I was doing wrong. It is harder yet to find one up here in OH. People leave OH for jobs. The Lord has something, I just wish his timetable in one coming about would happen soon. I am tired of not being without a job.

I can't sub without my OH teaching certificate, except for maybe in Akron Public Schools. My mom said something about taking inventory. I applied with the Dallas office, and they wouldn't call me or anything. I know people in the Akron office, so I know I will be put on the schedule. It has been 4 1/2 years since I took inventory of stores. They do have a new machine to use. Last week, I signed up with a temp agency here in town. It is actually the one, my sister used.

Church hunting

I've been home now for 11 days. I have attended three different churches. On the third I went to The Chapel, which is where I had my membership until I transferred it back in May 2001 to The Heights. I have said that The Chapel would be my default church. Yesterday, I attended Northside Christian Church in Wadsworth. The only singles class they have, are for those in their 20's and meet during the first hour. The church wasn't too bad. Had communion, and they started a new sermon series, as well. I called them today, and found out there is an ABF (adult bible fellowship/sunday school) that is both singles and married folks. They have a social this Saturday night. I will probably attend, and see what I think of them. Last night, I took grandma to Crusade Baptist Church. My grandparents went there in the evenings last winter. Before church starts, saw my brother. Will go there on Sunday nights, when grandma wants to go.

I have been praying about where to go to church. I have asked the Lord where he wants me to go. I want to feel welcome, I need/want a good singles class, and good Bible preaching. Those are my three requirements I am looking for in a church. I do miss The Heights, though.

Snow

I woke up this morning to one of my two favorite scenes...the morning after a snowfall. What a beautiful sight it was! There was about 3 inches on the ground. The snow on the tree limbs. Was gorgeous! Plus, to top it off, I saw 2-3 deer this morning. All of this, was viewed from my bedroom window.

This evening, before supper, we saw 13-20 deer along the treeline and heading into the field next door. Twice in one day, I was able to see deer! I just thanked the Lord both times.

Three times since Sunday, I have had to clean off my car before going anywhere.

Old Ways

There is only one person who knows how to hit my buttons with ease. The littlest thing that this person says, and I will get mad and loose it. There is no reason for me to get that upset. This person is my father. Suprise, suprise... it is not my mom, but my dad. I have spent most of the day mad at myself for this. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to move back home to OH.

I have said for the last few years, that there is like a pink elephant in my dad and mine's relationship. There are problems. I pray about it, and about my attitude. I have talked to my mom about it. I have tried talking to my dad about it. All he says is that there is nothing wrong. There is, how come nobody can see it? How come, I can see a problem and he can not?

I thought I had gotten better, but no, first thing this morning, I lost it for no good reason.

I came to another realization today, my self-esteem has dropped, and it is due to not being able to find a job. Dallas is way bigger that Akron, so how come I couldn't find a job in Dallas?

I read the ads, and I see needs a degree in this area (which I don't have), must have knowledge with different software that I have never heard of, and must have so many years of experience of which I don't have. That knocks me out of the running for any of those openings. I am not afraid to learn new things, if they are willing to train me. I am so tired of this. When will things turn around?

Made it to Ohio

Packed the trailer and my dad's van Tuesday night. All three of us slept on the floor in different rooms of my apartment Tuesday night. I had to miss BSF, and I wanted to go so badly. I barely slept Tuesday night. It is very uncomfortable sleeping on the floor. I only got a few minutes of sleep here and there throughout the night. My dad woke me up slightly before 4 am. We were on the road by ten of 5. (A family friend drove down with my dad Sunday/Monday.) I got to start off sleeping Wednesday morning. I took over driving around 7:30 am. We stopped for breakfast in AK around 8 am. Stopped at a rest area around 10:30 am. A trucker put air into my dad's tire, and we found a tire place to fix something on the back rear tire, because it was cut in half, and the air was leaking out. We spend Wednesday night in Goodlestville, TN. (The usual goal was Bowling Green, KY, but didn't make it.)

We started back up again Thursday morning a little after 7 am to rain and lightning. The funny event of the morning, is that my dad through away his extra keys, and had to go through the trash looking for his keys. We made it to Wadsworth, OH around 4:45 pm on Thursday.

Unloaded the van yesterday morning, and the trailer was unloaded this morning. Dad made his pancakes yesterday morning, when we had finished unloading the van.

There is still snow on the ground. This is the same snow that they got Valentine's Day. It has been melting very slowly.

More on moving

On Monday, my dad talked about flying down and renting a trailer and try to see about connecting it to my car. Then he also talked about getting a moving company to move me home. He didnt' like the estimates they were giving, so on Wednesday, he started talking about driving down and renting a trailer to connect to his van. I found out last night, that is what he is going to do. He is brining a family friend down to help, I have to try and sell my furniture, except for my bed, since that is only a 1 1/2 years old.

If I can sell my furniture, like I have been told to do, what if in a few months, I get a job, and have to move again. What am I supposed to do for furniture? I do not think they thought about that.

On the way home, we are supposed to stop in Branson. I haven't been there before.

Spiritual Insights

I have been praying about hearing the voice of God in my life. To me it seems like he has been quiet. I keep asking what in my heart has become a wall between God and myself. I really want to know what is God's will. I have been going through the process of grief in this aspect of moving back to OH. I am starting to accept it, even though it is not my desire. I pray that God will make his desires my desires.

Last Wednesday evening, I sat doing day 5 of my homework for my Beth Moore Biblestudy that I had that night. While working on my homework, King Hesekiah kept coming into my mind. When I finished with my homework, I started flipping through Chronicles and II Kings. In II Kings, I found the passage I wanted. I was looking for the passage that talked about when King Hezekiah was very ill, and God sent a prophet to tell Hezekiah that he was going to die. The prophet left the room, and Hezekiah started praying. You see, King Hezekiah didn't want to die, he wanted to live. God heard his prayer, and before the prophet could leave the palace, God spoke to him, and told him to turn around. This prophet went back to King Hezekiah to tell him what God said. God heard Hezekiah's prayer, and decided to answer it. King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live. Do you know what happened during those 15 years? King Hezekiah had another son. This son became king, when Hezekiah died. King Manassah, was one of the most evil kings Israel ever had. Manassah was the exact opposite of his father. We wonder why and ask why Hezekiah could not accept God's plan for his life. If he had, wonder what who would've been the next king, and if he would've been good or bad.

This got me to thinking about what would happen, if God decided to give me my desire, and allow me to stay here in Dallas. Would something evil happen? Would I not recieve God's best? Towards the end of the video session last night, I had this following thought: "Why am I fighting God about moving back home to OH?" I can't really answer that question.

I saw two other cool things in the Bible this past week. They both deal with Moses. Numbers 24: 4-9 is when the Israelites were grumbling and whining about God. (When weren't they doing that in the desert?) God became angry with them. He sent snakes, who bit the Israelites, as punishment for their sin. The Israelites called out and aplogized. God told Moses to make a bronze snake and put it high on a pole, all those who looked at the bronze snake would live. Skim forward to John 3:14-15, where it says like how Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, Jesus would be lifted up and those who believe would be saved. The passage in Numbers is like either a foreshadow or a phrophecy of what Jesus would do for us on the cross.

Yesterday, I worked on my BSF homework (all of it, since I hadn't touched it yet), in Romans 11:2-6 it is talking about Elijah. I was send back to I Kings 19 to read about Elijah who ran away for his life, after Jezebel says that she is going to kill him. This occurred after the high on the mountaintop. Elijah runs over 200 miles away to Mt. Horeb. Did you know that Mt. Horeb is another name for Mt. Sinai. That is the exact same place, that God spoke face to face to Moses and where he gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Elijah came face to face with God on that exact mountain hundreds of years later. I wonder if that is why God had both Moses and Elijah with Jesus when Jesus was transfigured before three of his disciples. Isn't that so cool?

Moving

It is official, I am moving back to OH. I am moving next week. Looks like, I am going to hire a moving company to move all of my junk back to OH. I will have to pack my car with I think I can not live without for a ful week. (That is a joke.) I have already decided my scrapbooking tools will be in my car, not on the moving company's van. To top all of this off, I spill water on my laptop over the weekend. Now, I get to get it fixed after going home.

This is not my desire, but it is what the Lord is leading me to do. What I keep saying is that I have the same problem that is being moved to a new setting. The only aspect is that my expenses will drop. I have applied to get my OH teaching license, and that will help in finding a job in the area that I will be living. I will be looking for jobs out of the state of OH. I will continue praying for the Lord's will and where He is leading me in this area of my life.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I subbed yesterday, first grade (oh my, oh my). After I got home, and had just settle down to watch some tv/vcr. The phone rang, about a possible job opporunity as a nanny. I was told two children, 10 month old and a 9 year old. Full-time as a live-in or part-time in the evevnings. I called her last night after getting on the computer, because I said to email me the info. We talked on the phone, and said that I would meet with her if I didn't have to sub today. I did not get called to sub. She called me around 9 am, and said not to meet today, but to go to her house tomorrow morning instead. I have now made myself unavailable for Then she called later this morning, and asked me to come and see her at work after all.

We talked for an hour an half this afternoon. I found out that there are actually 3 kids. The middle child is a boy, age 5 and is in daycare all day long. She asked me a bunch of questions and I asked her some questions. The hours are basically 7 am to 8-8:30 at night. While the 10 month old is taking her second nap, I would be working with the 9 year old withe her homework, and then tutor her, working on more math problems, spelling words, reading outloud, and a TAKS reading passage. That will last til about 5 pm or a little later. Help with dinner and baths. Two nights a week, I go to Biblestudy and really do not want to give that up, and I wouldn't have to. She is off for 8 weeks in the summer, which means OH for me.

Part-time just in the evenings. I need to work during the day. Another alternative was given, I could move-in, change my subbing area to the North East area of Richardson ISD, apply to sub in Plano ISD. As soon as I am time, pick up the baby from daycare, and the 9 year old from school-after school care, come home, and work with the older child with school work, and help in the evenings til 8-8:30 pm. That way, don't know for sure about going to my two Biblestudies.

I got home this afternoon to find out that I might have a possible tutoring job with SLC, over in far east Irving, close to Dallas, between 20-22 miles one way, three times a week.

What do I do. Is this from the Lord. Should I go for it. If I do, should I still look for a teaching position. What is the Lord leading me to do? I do not know what to do.

Do I want to spend all day with a 10 month old? I haven't watched a baby since I was in high school, 20 years ago. I have to make my decision by the end of the week.

Snow Day

Today is a Snow Day, or down south is called a bad weather/inclement weather day. As I know of, only two districts stayed open today. That means the makority of the schools will be in session on Good Friday come April.

We have been receiving some type of precipitation since Friday. The rain became ice Sunday/Monday. Woke up to snow this morning. There isn't much snow, but the tempeatures are just below freezing, and there is some ice.

The bad part about being a sub, and having snow days, is that we subs, are not on some phone list to tell us. We have to find out by listening to the radio or watching tv. I was supposed to sub today. I still went out, because I didn't hear anything on the radio or see anything on the tv this morning. I go out, and the parking lots of the school I passes, and the one I was supposed to be at were empty. I turned around and came home. Couldn't go back to bed, was already up and awake.

For not getting any snow over Christmas break, it was nice to see some snow today.

He Breaks Us To Make Us

Read Genesis 32:22-32

THERE'S A GOOD REASON God calls his people sheep. Sometimes they act ba-a-a-ad and wander away from the paths he has mapped out for them.

A good shepherd will relentlessly search for a wayward sheep. Sometimes, if the sheep refuses to follow his master, the shepherd takes drastic action. He breaks the sheep's leg, places it upon his shoulders and carries the sheep until it learns total dependence. This is tough love-teh shepherd breaks the sheep to make sure the sheep always follow the shepherd.

Jacob had always been a wanderer. He fled his home in Beersheba to escape his brother's wrath and find a wife in Haran. On his journey, he encountered God at a place called Bethel and saw a stairway leading to heaven. Years later, Jacob left Haran along with his wives, children, and property. One night he found himself at Jabbok, utterly alone. At this solitary place God, in the form of "a man," sought out Jacob. God wanted to make Jacob into a different person, so he took drastic action. He initiated a wrestling match that lasted from dusk till dawn. Jacob's willfulness would not allow him to give up. So the man "broke" Jacob, touching his hip so that he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. Many people might become bitter and turn away from God for breaking them. But Jacob had just he opposite response. He clung to God saying, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

We may think that a God of love would never allow his children to feel any pain. But sometimes God breaks us to make us better. He may break our hearts so we will make room for him there. He may break our will so we can discover his will for us. He may break our physical strength so we discover that God's strength is make perfect in our weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). Like Jacob, the best response to God's tough love is to cling to him and earnestly pray, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

If you've been acting like a ba-a-a-ad sheep and have wandered off the path, climb up on the shepherd's shoulders and let him carry you home to healing.

Genesis 32: 24-26 " So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man saw, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me.' "

Reflection

1. Describe the times you have wandered from God and how you sensed him relentlessly seeking you.

2. How has God broken you physically, emotionally or spiritually? What was the result?

3. God is a good shepherd; thank him for his care for you even when you don't always understand his methods.

Related Readings
Psalms 23; 51:15-17; James 1:2-5; 1 Peter 4:12-14

This was today's devotional from the New Woman's Devotional Bible NIV version. I recieved this for Christmas from my parents.

Trusting God's Will

"I know the plans I have fro you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 NLT


Do you sometime wonder where all the pieces of your life fit together in God's plan for your life? You may get anxious or impatient in trying to see the whole picture. Ther will be times when a fragment of your life doesn't quite seem to fit what your'd envisioned or hoped it could be.

Learning to trust God's will for your life is a little like finding a plain brown box filled with pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. As you sort through countless pieces, you find yourself asking just what God's picture and will for you is. The answer doesn't always come immediately. It's only when you pick up each piece, hold it up to God, and ask Him toshow you where it fits that you finally catch a partial glimpse of His plans and will.

Don't lose heart if you don't see the whole picture. God is always working and conforming your will to His. His directions and confirmations will assure He is carefully placing each piece of your life's puzzle into place. He already knows the end result. Your job is to simply trust Him to complete the puzzle. He knows exactly where every piece of the puzzle fits.

There is no greater peace than being in the center of God's will. Give Him your dreams adn goals and let Him sort out all the pieces. Seeking Him and His direction places you in the very center of His perfect will. You can trust the mountainous view of God's perspective and plan for your life-a view of completeness and eternal glory that far surpasses the jagged pieces of your life's puzzle.

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GRACE FOR TODAY

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We can trust God's perspective and will for our lives even when what we see makes no sense.

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This was today's devotion from the following devotional book of mine: Daily Grace for Women Devotional reflections to nourish your soul.

"One Another" commands

The following list was in the bulletin yesterday at church. I liked it so much, that I wanted to put it here on my blog. They are all "One Another" commands, along with the scripture where it is found.

• Accept one another-Romans 15:7
• Admonish one another-Colossians 3:16
• Bear one another's burdens-Galations 6:2
• Bear with one another-Ephesians 4:20
• Build up one another-Romans 4:19
• Care for one another-I Corinthians 12:25
• Comfort one another-I Thessalonians 4:18
• Confess faults to one another-James 5:16
• Be Devoted to one another-Romans 12:10a
• Encourage one another-I Thessalonians 5:11
• Foegive one another-Ephesians 4:32
• Greet one another-Romans 16:16
• Be Honest with one another-Colossians 3:9
• Honer one another-Romans 12:10b
• Be hospitable to one another-I Peter 4:9
• Be Kind to one another-Ephesians 4:32
• Love one another-Romans 12:8
• Members one of another-Romans 12:5
• Pray for one another-James 5:16
• Be of the Same Mind with one another-Romans 15:5
• Serve one another-Galations 5:13
• Spur one another on-Hebrews 10:24
• Submit to one another-Ephesians 5:21

If you are interested in learning more about theheights.org then click on the link. I love The Heights.

Romans 8:24-25 (Living)

"We are saved by trusting. And trusting means looking forward to getting something we don't yet have-for a man who already has something doesn't need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn't happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently."

I have been reading Romans 8:18-27 every morning since Thursday in two or three different versions, so that it would be familar with me, since BSF starts back up tomorrow night. These two verses stuck out at me this morning. There are a couple of things that I am hoping/waiting for in my life. Full-time job, and the other I am not saying here. Certain people know what the other one is. I keep praying about it, and trusting God, that he will lead me in the right direction in both areas of my life that I am waiting for.

Football

College football is almost over with. In my opinion, pro football is overwith. (I know playoffs are starting today, but I don't care about the playoffs.) The MAC (Mid-American Conference) has four bowl games. Their current record this bowl season is 1-2. N. Illinois lost to TCU at the Poinsetta Bowl, Central MI won the GMAC bowl, and Western MI lost this afternoon to Cinci in the International Bowl. The only way the MAC would get the respect that they deserve is to win these big games, but they don't seem to do that very well. Ohio U plays tomorrow night. Ohio State plays for the Championship Monday night. That will be a good game.

The Steelers are done for the season, finishing with a 8-8 record. The coach, Bill Cowher resigned yesterday to spend more time with his family. I am happy for him, but sad for my team. I hope, he doesn't move to the Yucky Browns, when he goes back to coaching!!!!!!!!!!

First interviews of the year

I started off the new year with two, count it, two interviews. The first one was on Tuesday, back home in Akron, OH. I interviewed for a junior high science teacher position at a charter school. It is a type of school that has students who do not fit in very well in the regular public schools. I have to get my Ohio teaching certificate again. I have found out how. I have to get a copy of my teaching certificate from UTA and send it in, along with my application and a check for $60 to Columbus, OH, and about 4 weeks later, I will have my teaching certificate again. I also have to get copies of two other things for who I interviewed with. By doing all of this, I will be kept in mind for next school year. At some point, I did want to get my OH teaching certificate again.

My second interview was yesterday, here in the Dallas area. I interviewed for a recruiter position for this college. This school has campuses in 21 different states. It was like a pre-interview, to decide if I will be chosen for the next level of interviews. The position I interviewed for would to talk to high school students who might be interested in going to this school. You are building a relationship with these students, and are with them in every step of the way in applying, getting accepted, to their first day of classes at the school.

I have thought about wanting to become a recruiter for a school district or a school, and going to job fairs. Even if I end up taking a break from teaching, I would like to somehow stay in the education field in some way. I need to start looking on monster.com again.

How to have a happy New Year

I went to church with my parents on New Year's Eve for the evening service. The sermon came from Psalms 128:1-4 and below are my notes I took from the sermon.

1. Right relationship with God
2. Right relationship with others
3. Have realistic expectations
- Don't expect everything to go smoothly
4. Accept God's will
5. Financial Blessings
- instead of buying what I want, ask God to help me be content (satisfied) with out it
6. Be a year of giving
- share with others who don't have

Interviews starts the New Year off right

Monday is New Year's Day! I'm starting off the new year with two interviews. One is in OH and the other one is in TX. Inbetween the two interviews, I am traveling back down to Dallas.
Side bar....did not have a whtie christmas, basically no snow at all while I am home. I wanted my snow.
Tuesday, at 9 am, I have an interview at a charter school here in the Akron area. I do not have my OH teaching certificate, it expired back in 2003. I have to get two different transcripts (one is for the school I am applying to), fill out an application, and pay $60 to get my OH teaching certificate. Back in October, when I was on the website for this school, I did read that they teach ADAHD students, and others who have a harder time in the regular environment. I know it is teaching math and science, but not sure what grade. I do prefer my intermediate grades.
Thursday, in the afternoon, I am interviewing for a recruiter position at a college in the area. This position recruits high school students to go to this school. Actually, in the past, I thought it would be fun to travel to the different job fairs and talk about the school district or school and recruit prospective teachers to that district or school.
This morning in my devotions, I read from John where Jesus talks (about himself) how a seed will only grow and produce new seed once it has died and is buried. That got me to thinking and praying about my dreams/desires. One of my heart's desires was given to me. I did have my classroom and taught at one school for a few years. I am not sure what my dream is now. But it has died and has been buried. I wrote about this in my diary this morning.

The Teachers' Days Before Christmas

'Twas the days before Christmas

And all through the school,

The teachers were trying

To just keep their cool.

The hallways were hung

With Christmas art

(Some made in November

to get a head start!)

The children were bouncing

Off ceilings and walls,

And seemed to forget

How to walk in the halls.

When out of the teacher's lounge

With "holiday shirts"

And "jingle bell jewels,"

The teachers looked festive

Enforcing the rules.

Suddenly, from down the hallway

There came such a chatter,

The principal went in

To see what was the matter.

The teachers were hiding

And trying to refuel,

On coffee and cookies

And treats from the Yule,

When what do their wondering

Ears do they hear,

But the ringing of school bells

-It's the children they fear!

More rapid than reindeer

The little ones came,

And the teachers all shouted

And called them by name;

Walk, Vincent! Walk, Tanner!

Walk, Tyler and Sammy!

Sit, Jamie! Sit, Laura!

Sit, Tara and Tammy!

To your desks in the room!

To your spots in the line!

Now walk to them! Walk to them!

No running this time!

So straight to their places

The children all went.

With fear of detention

Where they could be sent.

With manuals of lessons

Cradled in arms,

The techers began

To use all their charms.

But the lessons presented

All fell on deaf ears.

The children were thinking

Of Santa's reindeer!

With a toss of their hands

They put manuals aside,

Went straight to the cupboards

Where videos hide.

And laying their finger

Ont he TV remote

They sat back to write

Their last Christmas note.

But you could hear them exclaim

At the enf of the day-

Have a wonderful, happy and

L-O-O-O-O-O-O-NG HOLIDAY!!!

Twas the Night Before Jesus Came

I found this poem when I was in college. This is one of my favorite poems.

Informal Interviews

Where am I in my job search? Actually, I do not know. I am subbing! Which is good. Teacher job fairs start back up in March. I will get to go through that again. I think this time I will be better prepared. I have been doing some research, finding different people to mail them a contact letter to let them know that I will be calling them. Will either have an interview over the phone or in person, or find out that is not a place for me to be checking out at all. I will ask questions about how a person with my experiences and skills could fit into a place of business similar to where this peson works. I am trying to expand my boundaries of where I can work.
I love teaching, but I want to be teaching somewhere, where the behavior is basically undercontrol, and that it is possible for learning to take place. I wouldn't mind teaching adults, especially about elementary science.
These informal interviews can lead to other interviews. Something will happen, and I hope soon.

Daniel Rhyme

Daniel's Book: Just a Quick Look
Daniel One: Carried off to Babylon
Daniel Two: Neb's Dream Statue
Daniel Three: From a Fiery Furnace Free
Daniel Four: I'll Humble Neb Some More
Daniel Five: Says the Handwriting, "You die!"
Daniel Six: The Lions' Jaws Fixed
Daniel Seven: There's a Judge in Heaven
Daniel Eight: Antiochus Spreads Hate
Daniel Nine: Seveny "Sevens" in Time
Daniel Ten: Where's the Angel Been?
Daniel Eleven: A Vile King's Succession
Daniel Twelve: Shine Bright Till All is Well
Daniel's Done: Now, Didn't We Have Fun?

Blessings

MY BLESSINGS
1. My relationship with Jesus Christ
2. Being able to read my Bible
3. My church
4. Family
5. Friends
6. My former co-workers
7. My former students
8. I am subbing!!!!!!!!
9. My health
10. The biblestudies I am involved in.
11. My skills
12. What the Lord is doing in my life.

To name a few of my many blessings. I got this feeling at BSF last week, asking myself how often do I think about the many blessings God has given me. Since then, I have been wanting to write an entry here on my blog, listing some of my blessings.

Subbing

I am working!!!!! I went in on Halloween for my subbing interview at RISD. I recieved my badge that morning, and was inputed into the system that same time. I received a call little before 6 am the next day, November 1, to sub. I worked the rest of the week. I chose an area that has 10 elementary schools in the feeder plan for the high school. Ten schools should be enough to keep me busy. I am only going to sub grades 2-6. I've been to two different schools. Those schools are different from each other. The first school is a complete 180 degree turn from where I used to teach at. That is the school, I hope to be at a lot. We'll see.

The last time I subbed was the 1997-1998 school year back home in OH. Sub pay then was between $50-$70 a day. Eight years later, sub pay isn't much higher than it was eight years ago. Today it is between $60-$80. Teacher pay has increased in the past eight years. Cost of living as increased in the past eight years. In my opinion, the following salaries need to decrease, actors, sports players, politicans, and supertendients of school districts. Teachers, police officers, and fire fighters need to make more.