Thursday, March 19, 2009

Back in the Hospital

On Tuesday, St. Patrick's Day, I was told that my brother was taken from school to the ER. They noticed that one of his knees was red and starting to swell. Group home was called and was taken to the ER. He was admitted to the hospital. Doctors said this time the infection was caught early. Back in January, just before his birthday, he spent a few days in the hospital due to an infection in one of his knees. Mom thought he would went home today, but he didn't. I will see him sometime this weekend.

Mom, got a call this afternoon, saying that somebody from the hospital was going to call to get permission to put my brother's feeding tube back in. I do not remember the hospital calling in the past, to get permission to put it back in, when it came out. As, I said, his feeding tube came out last night. Around 5 pm or so, mom got the phone call, and she gave them permission. She asked how they fed him today without his feeding tube. Get this, they didn't feed him all day! He went over 18 hours without food. He probably signed food and drink all day, and they probably had no idea what he was saying, but then since he is in restraints that probably makes it too hard to sign. My mom is mad and is going to go and complain tomorrow. She even asked them about going all day without food. My brother does not talk, and as no way to express what he is feeling or thinking. He does not understand what is going on.

All of my brother's problems started back in November 2007, with the first infection that was in his finger. Since then, he probably has been hospitalized about 10 times. There has got to be something wrong besides getting infections too easy. Mom says doctors have been running tests and can't find anything wrong. Why else would he keep getting infections, if there isn't something else wrong with him? Only God knows.

Monday, March 16, 2009

When Dreams Die

This afternoon, I finished the autobiography of Phil Vischer, titled, Me, Myself, & Bob. Was a very good book. I found out what lead him to start VeggieTales and the problems he had with it. It is the lessons he learned from the collapse of his company (yes it is still around, but not owned by him.) There is something I have thought about off and on for the past three years, and something that Phil said in his book, brings it to home for me. I know, I am dancing around the mulberry bush.

During my years in Dallas, I noticed, quite a bit, that I would but Christ on the back burner of my life during the day. It wasn't something I did on purpose, it just happened. It wasn't pleasing to God. My job became my idol. Three years ago, I felt like I was in a desert, spiritually, at least. I think it was God starting to get my attention. Let me share something that Phil Vischer heard on a sermon cd. "IF God gives you a dream, and the dream comes to life and God shows up in it, and then the dream dies, it may be that God wants to see what is more important to you-the dream or him." What was more important to me? My teaching job was. I said God was, but I think it was my job. I know my last year there, God was working to get me home for cancer diagnose that would happen in May 07, but I still think God let my dream die.

I am ready to now teach full-time again, and I have a new dream starting to form. That is to teach science staff development to elementary ed teachers. I do know that I need to get my master's and get back into the classroom first, before that can happen.
Father, i am sorry for making my job an idol. That was wrong and a sin.

I have started a new Bible study. It is the new Beth Moore one, on Esther. I completed week two's homework today. It is very good.

I have another dream, that God hasn't allowed to come to pass. I can guess at the reason why, but only God really knows, but one thing I do know, that at times, I have allowed that dream to become an idol, as well. That is also a sin. I am also sorry for letting that dream to become an idol.

Please be careful with your dreams. Make sure you are not allowing them to become an idol and replacing God with them.