Monday, July 30, 2007

PET Scan

This afternoon, I had my P.E.T. Scan. I went back around 1 pm. It took the guy two tries to get the IV started. First, he tried my right wrist. That one hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My vein wouldn't cooperate, and he had to take the needle out. Next, he tried my left arm at the elbow, and my vein cooperated. My veins are down deep and they are small. I drank fluids, mostly water, to prepare for the test. After the radioactive glucose was injected, I had to sit quietly for about an hour.

After the hour was up, I was taken to the room for the test. I had to lay flat on my back. It lasted about 2 hours. The only thing I was allowed to move were my arms. My arms were not allowed to go into the machine. It was 6 different 10 minutes of pictures being taken, from the base of my skull to my mid thighs. Then a group of 3 minutes each of pictures taken of my legs. It was very boring. I will more of these to come in the future.

I will find out the results on Friday, when to see the cancer doctor. On a funny note, I put the peatnutbutter into the fridge this morning. As soon as I realize what I did, I took it out. At supper, my dad tried to tell me that I left the peanutbutter in the fridge. He basically had me.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


This morning, I was writing in my diary, while listening to "Down Gilead Lane" on WCRF. This thought came to my mind. I needed to apologize to God. When the doctor told me yesterday, that there were a couple of suspicious spots he saw on the CT Scan, that is what I only focused on. I forgot, and should've focused on that over 95% of the scans were clear. I apologized to God, and have told a few people that also. I am very thankful, that there were only a couple of suspicious spots. Thank you Father. You are an awesome God. Focusing on the bad parts is not good. I need to focus on the good. You know what is best, and what is going on, even though, I don't completely understand. I ask that you open my eyes, so that I can see all of this through your eyes, and not through my sinful, human eyes. I love you very much. I am thankful that you are in charge and you are my Abba.

Friday, July 27, 2007

CT Scan Results

I saw the cancer doctor this morning. He saw three things on the films. I have sinuses inflamed on the right side, a 3mm nodule in the upper lobe of my left lung, and a lymph node in the chest area. They are too small for a biospy to be done. On Monday afternoon, I will have a PET Scan done. I have to be there at 12:30 pm for registration, 1 pm, the prep starts and lasts an hour, and the actual test lasts an hour. I will have an IV inserted for them to inject stuff into me.

Next Friday, I will find out the results of this test. I will find out what treatment I will have, what stage I am at, and if I have to have more lymph nodes removed or not.

I have already been told what to expect if I have to have more lymph nodes removed. I will be measured for a stocking in advance, that will have to be worn. The surgery will require an overnight stay at the hospital. There could be swelling in my leg, especially the thigh area. (That is not good, and I am already big there.) Also any wounds I recieve to the leg, will be slow in healing or might not heal at all.

I am sad and disappointed. God did answer my prayer, just not to my liking. I have thanked him for answering my prayer. I asked for the scan to come back negative, that the cancer hasn't spread. I don't understand why for this interuption into my life to have cancer right now. Later in my life, I will understand. I wouldn't say that getting cancer is the best for me, but God does say. God knows what he is doing. I have to trust him, but that is a little hard. I do want God to be glorified through this.

Also on Monday, I am going to try to start the process in applying for Medicaid/Medicare. I have to take certain papers with me, and it requires waiting. I will only have the morning to wait, that is it. I pray that I will have everything with me on Monday, and that I will be able to start the process. I have to have something to pay for my medical costs. I am hoping to sub this coming school year, but I don't know how often I will be called and able to sub. Plus, I found out the cost of the PET Scan for Monday, $6,000-$8,000. I do not have that kind of money.

Father, please carry my burdens. You know what I need. Please provide for me.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Getting Smaller

I noticed tonight that the hole on my back leg (where the melanoma was removed) is getting smaller. But, at night, my mom, notices that the top part of the hole is swollen and puffy. It is because I am on my leg during the day. No matter, how much time I do sit with it up, it still is swollen. In the morning, the swelling is down. It has been one month since I had my surgery.

I am nervous about tomorrow. I printed up some things tonight about a clinical trial, and a couple of other treatments for melanoma. One printout has questions to ask about clinical trials.

This morning, I saw 3 deer. Two were fawns, and one was the mama deer. I thanked the Lord for allowing to see the deer.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007



*Pain Cause*
A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."

Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then prepared a bowl of soup.

Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner. The pastor began to feel bad. Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"

The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"

My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 36 years old today. And, no, I do not look it.

I had to be up early (6:30) to do some excerises before going downstairs to do my deovotions. I recieved a text message at 6:45 wishing me a happy birthday. I recieved two birthday cards this morning. Mom and I left around 8:15 to go into town. I had an 8:45 am doctor's appointment with the surgeon. I saw a different resident than the last two times. She took out a staple that wasn't taken out earlier this month. A nurse took a pic of my leg. They talked about measuring me for a stocking, which would be worn if I have to have more lymph nodes taken out. (I will know more about that come Friday.) I left there around 10:15. Mom took me back to APS. We left there close to 12:30 pm. Met my sis at Wendy's for lunch. She gave me two cards, one from my niece and one from her. Her card reminded me that she will always be younger than me.

Came home. While I was reading the newspaper, my best friend called to wish me a happy birthday. I am going out to CiCi's Pizza tomorrow with my cousin and my grandma for lunch.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Morton Family Reunion

Last night we had over 30 people at my house. We had a family reunion from my mom's side. For the first time in 17 years the three sister-in-laws were together. The three Morton brothers have all passed away. The third one died two months ago. There were people here last night, that I had never met. It was nice. As usual, I took a bunch of pictures. My sis let me borrow her camera, since all of my batteries were dead.

Friday, July 20, 2007

CT Scan

I got up at 5:20 this morning to go downstairs to take the second dose of the "goop". I drank a class of orange juice and a glass of ice water along with that dose. Then I went back to bed for a couple more hours of sleep. My third dose I drank on the way the place. My doctor forgot to sign the order yesterday, so they had to call him, and do some faxing to get it signed.

I went into the room with the machine and had to drink another, but much smaller dose of that "goop". I kept all four doses down. That is a God thing for that to happen. Plus they had to insert an iv to inject more stuff. They tried both arms, and found a vein at the base of my left arm, above the thumb. I drank water yesterday, but not enough. My veins are down deep and are hard to find.

She took pictures from my head down to my pelvic area. At one time, she injected the stuff and took pics. This was called a CT Scan with contrast. I will find out the results next Friday, when I go see Dr. Patel. I am praying that the scan comes back negative. I am praying that the melanoma hasn't spread anywhere else.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

One down and two to go

Tomorrow morning I have a CT Scan with contrast. I have to drink this goop. I have to drink at three different times. I just finished the first portion. I was able to eat. I washed a bowl of cherries, and had a glass of water. I'd drink a bit of that stuff, water, ate a couple of cherries, water, etc. Now I am eating a granola bar. This stuff does have a sweet smell to it. I had to drink 10 oz of it. I did start to gag part way through it, but I have been able to keep it down.

The next dose is at 5:30 am. I will have both a glass of water and orange juice. No food. Then I finish it at 8:30 am. I can't have anything then. I did pray before drinking it and aksed God to help me keep this down and not gag. I hope to be okay at 5:30 am, but the last dose will be the hardest one of them all. I pray that I will be able to drink it and keep it down.

Seeing the Cancer Doctor

M&D and I saw the cancer doctor this morning. It means a lot to me in having both of them there. I am going to have a CAT Scan tomorrow, to see if the cancer has spread. Hopefully it will look good and no need to have a PET Scan. I have to drink this goop tonight and tomorrow morning. I am praying that I will be able to keep it down and not throw it back up. I have to have blood work done as well. This will determine exactly what treatment I will have.

The doctor's plan is to do the immunotherapy or a clinical trial of something. Looking at no chemo. I am happy about that. No loosing my hair. I know it is vain, but I like my long hair. I was told the immunotheraphy will rev up my immune system. The side effects will be fever, chills, and flu-like syptoms. I will still be able to Sub this fall when I feel up to it. The immunotherapy lasts a year. I will be IV's M-F for so many weeks, then injections three times a week.

With the info the doctor has, he says I am at Stage 3A, because a lymph node was removed. There are 5 stages in melanoma, from stage 0-4.

I am disappointed. I wanted to teach full-time this fall. I still don't understand. God has great plans out there for me. I want him to be glorified throughout all of this. Here is a thought, I haven't shared with anybody before, I'm still single, will I stay single, because of having cancer? Because of having cancer, will I be a liablity in getting a full-time teaching position next year? Why God? Why now? How does this fit into your plan? Are you trying to teach me something?

Next week, I will go to PT (physical therapy) and see both doctors.

Monday, July 16, 2007


When I saw the doctor last week, he said to call the office if the right corner was getting red. Mom made a comment Saturday night, while chaning the dressing, that my leg was red. It was redder yesterday afternoon, when she changed it. She changed it again this morning before going to work. She said it was really red, a little warm, and there was a smell. I called the doctor's office and he agreed to see me at 4:30 pm in between surgries. Turns out I have a small infection in my leg. Now mom, has to actually put some soap in the hole when I shower, use distill water on gauze pads in the hole before putting on a new dressing.

It was God, that I was able to get into to see him this afternoon. If I had to wait, it would've gotten worse. I was also given a prescription for an antibotic to take.

Frog in Toilet

Yesterday morning, I went upstairs to my room to get ready for church. I walked into my bathroom and over to the toilet. The pic above shows what I found in my toilet yesterday morning. That is right, I found a green frog inside my toilet. My dad took the pic before taking it out.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

This and That

I saw the surgeon yesterday. The right corner of the skin transplant still hasn't taken yet. My mom says the hole looks ugly. I haven't looked inside the hole, it is kinda hard to do so. I can see that there is a hole.

I haven't used the cane at all today. I need to start sleeping in my bed soon. I haven't started driving yet, and actually dont' need to. I am going to let my leg heal more before I try to drive.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the grocery store with mom and grandma. Saturday, get to go to a craft show.

A school district in SC called earlier this afternoon, and they are going to try to set up a phone interview.

I read a really good book this week by Lisa Whelchel. She played "Blair" on The Facts of Life. She wrote kinda like an autobriography, but different lessons God taught her throughout her life. She then applied these lessons to us, by asking questions. She had scripture throughout the whole book. It was something I needed to read.

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Friday, July 06, 2007

News from the doctor

I had my surgery on Tuesday, June 26. It was scheduled as an outpatient surgery. It was decided Tuesday night, that I would be admitted to the hospital until Friday. Friday, 29th was the day to have my dressings changed. We had fun getting me into the house Friday afternoon. I couldn't put any weight on my leg. I had to use a walker with wheels and hop. One lymph node was taken out. My mom has had to change the dressing on my leg and she says it looks ugly. My right leg hurts at times and my left leg burns, stings, hurts. The skin transplant came from my left thigh.

Went to the doctor this morning to have my right leg looked at. No more splint!!!!! I can now put weight on my right leg!!!!!!!!! Both yeahs!!!!!!!! Now after the good news, comes the bad news. That is right, bad news. The lymph node that was taken out is cancerous. I will be seeing an oncologist (cancer specialist). I will know more about course of action after seeing him.

This means I am not moving to AZ next month. I will just sub. I dont' understand why. I dont' understand why God opened one door and then turned around and closed that same door. It doesn't make any sense to me.